Secret tip: most memory care facilities will not ask to see proof of guardianship. Instead, they go on a case-by-case basis, taking into account medical history, recent cognitive tests, medical conditions, and if the person's behavior and abilities are appropriate for that level of care. If the person is not able cognitively to understand the situation, call a cab or a friend, and leave the facility, then they'll end up staying there whether they really wanted to or not. The facilities are required to have a phone residents can use to call out, required to let residents use it and even help them use it, and required to supply postage and mail letters for residents. If the resident is really confused enough and cognitively impaired enough to be unable to live alone safely, then they will probably be unable to understand that they actually have a legal right to leave the facility. They will also be easily distracted by activities, new people, new routines, and they just can't keep the same train of thought and complex steps in mind long enough to leave. That's the sad reality. If your spouse still has his wits about him enough to call a cab and demand to leave, a placement in a memory care facility might not work out--unless you have guardianship. But if he's very confused, a move to a memory care facility might work, even without guardianship. A lot of people transfer the person with dementia to memory care after a hospital or rehab stay for an accident or medical emergency, telling them it's like another rehab. So sorry you are facing this choice.
You can place him in a facility without his consent if you have conservatorship over him and he's declared mentally incompetent. If you don't, then with his doctor's diagnosis of dementia and diminished capacity, go to the probate court in your town and file for conservatorship over your husband. The court will appoint a lawyer to represent him (that you will have to pay for not the court) who will meet with him and the judge. Then there will be a hearing and the judge will decide if you're awarded conservatorship or not. If you are then you can place him in a nursing home/LTC without his consent.
If a doctor has declared that he is not competent then you can place him. Before I would do that though you might want to talk to an Elder Care Attorney to make sure you "have all your ducks in a row" There are a lot of decisions to be made and if your husband is cognizant enough to understand some of what is going on he should be involved as well. Some people with dementia do not want to discuss it, admit that they have a problem or others want to be involved and help make the necessary decisions that will have great impact later. What type is your husband? In some but not all cases a spouse has to obtain Guardianship. This can be difficult, expensive and time consuming. In other cases it is a fairly easy thing to do. AND/OR the doctor says your husband needs Memory Care but does he actually mean you have to place him in MC or is it possible to care for him at home? You can get help from caregivers. If your husband is not violent and you can physically care for him it might be an option. But this depends on your physical, mental and emotional health. As well as will you be able to safely care for him at home?
Best advice would be to talk to an Elder Care Attorney
Ultimately yes you can, but there are a lot of legal hoops to jump through first.
Also. This probably sounds impossible to you at the moment, given that most people are experiencing enormous challenges at this point that you've now reached in caregiving, but it's better to do it with his consent. Would you like to say more about what has been happening, and why the doctor gave this opinion?
It depends on the state, so best to ask an elder care attorney from your state.
I live in Florida and just read the other day that only a judge can declare someone incompetent in Florida, even if the person is in a coma or diagnosed with dementia.
You have told us that the doctor says he needs memory care. That means that you now have a diagnosis and you should receive from the doctor documentation that your Husband is now considered to have dementia to the extent that he is unable to make his own decisions. If you are already POA you can place your husband. If not, the doctor can help you find Social Workers or other means to become appointed conservator for your husband. You should also see an Elder Law Attorney to find out how to save your own assets for your own care should it be needed in future. You will require this documentation many times over in future, so keep close track of it.
If you don't, then with his doctor's diagnosis of dementia and diminished capacity, go to the probate court in your town and file for conservatorship over your husband. The court will appoint a lawyer to represent him (that you will have to pay for not the court) who will meet with him and the judge. Then there will be a hearing and the judge will decide if you're awarded conservatorship or not.
If you are then you can place him in a nursing home/LTC without his consent.
Before I would do that though you might want to talk to an Elder Care Attorney to make sure you "have all your ducks in a row"
There are a lot of decisions to be made and if your husband is cognizant enough to understand some of what is going on he should be involved as well.
Some people with dementia do not want to discuss it, admit that they have a problem or others want to be involved and help make the necessary decisions that will have great impact later. What type is your husband?
In some but not all cases a spouse has to obtain Guardianship. This can be difficult, expensive and time consuming.
In other cases it is a fairly easy thing to do.
AND/OR
the doctor says your husband needs Memory Care but does he actually mean you have to place him in MC or is it possible to care for him at home? You can get help from caregivers. If your husband is not violent and you can physically care for him it might be an option. But this depends on your physical, mental and emotional health. As well as will you be able to safely care for him at home?
Best advice would be to talk to an Elder Care Attorney
Also. This probably sounds impossible to you at the moment, given that most people are experiencing enormous challenges at this point that you've now reached in caregiving, but it's better to do it with his consent. Would you like to say more about what has been happening, and why the doctor gave this opinion?
I live in Florida and just read the other day that only a judge can declare someone incompetent in Florida, even if the person is in a coma or diagnosed with dementia.
https://www.sosalegal.com/faqs/is-a-family-member-incapacitated-what-you-need-to-know-.cfm#:~:text=There%20is%20no%20incapacity%20per,still%20presumed%20to%20have%20capacity.
Pretty much NOBODY goes into MC by their own choice, because, well, they don't realize they have a problem.