My father who is 75 has been living with me for the past 4-5 years as he got extremely ill and could not live on his own. I just bought a house over a year ago to get us out of our apartment that was easier for him to get around in. He is better now but can be manipulative to me and others. I was lucky enough to get him an aid that can be here a few hours a day but I am getting burned out with him living with me and all the appointments he needs.
He has COPD, macular degeneration, diabetes, parkinsons disease and heart disease. He is also a veteran so we have been lucky to get what he needs through the VA. I have done so much for him despite his lack of care for me as a child after my mom passed away when I was 10. I work full time and my shifts are 12 hours each. My boyfriend also just left me as he can no longer stand my father and how he has treated me in the past.
I am tired of the stressful situations, either here at home or when I am work and I am not getting any breaks. I am 32 and watching everyone around me live their lives and be happy, which is something i have not been able to have. At what point did you say enough was enough and have the talk about AL or NH with your loved one?
I am so glad you said it first before we all had to convince you. NOW, is the best time.
Also, I think you would greatly benefit from some counseling, your have been though the ringer!
Your so young, take your life back!
Things will only get worse when there is a need to have 24/7 care.
It is time to say that you no longer wish to live with him, but would like to live alone now.
I do not know what sort of agreement you had, but if you had no agreement in document through attorney for shared living expenses that was also a huge mistake. You have taken him in and you have made your home his home. It will not be easy to dislodge him and you may come down to an eviction.
Very sorry. I think a bad decision, and with consequences for you, but you can manage to change things. I think if you had a relationship that failed because of this, and that was ALL that was wrong with the relationship it was a tragic mistake. You chose your father over the man you loved, if that was the case. Hopefully there was more involved.
You have my sympathy. I wish you good luck.
The VA has some really nice facilities that your father can move into and be around other veterans just like him, and you can get back to the one and only life you have.
You are WAY too young to be strapped with your fathers care and he needs to understand that.
No decent father would allow their child to take on their care, and disrupt their lives when there are better options out there for him.
So...I wish you well with telling your father that he has to go elsewhere and in taking your life back.