I am married to a man who is the oldest of three siblings (all boys) my husband knows of a medical issue pertaining to their father. He said he tried to talk to the younger boys but he said they didn’t want to hear what he has to say about their father. I suggested he try again and tell them because the younger siblings need to know. Their father has started showing memory issues which brings the topic more to the fore front. I keep suggesting he try again but he hasn’t and told me that they didn’t want to hear it or accept that their father is getting older.
When ur asked what is wrong with Dad, tell them that ur DH tried to tell them and they didn't seem interested then send them to your husband.
Do not pressure your husband. Are you caring for FIL in ur home?
In fact, if your hubs is the POA, it is a violation of the POA to tell anyone.
Job of POA is to keep information private.
Does your DH have dad's medical and financial POA? Hopefully so, b/c once an official diagnosis has been made, POA can be quite difficult or impossible to obtain.
What I have found from reading this forum for years is that A LOT of men are in denial about dementia for their parent(s). They just have a very hard time believing their invincible parent(s) could possibly be suffering from the dreaded d-e-m-e-n-t-i-a or Alzheimer's and refuse to wrap their minds around it. Until it becomes so obvious that dad is wandering down the street naked or something equally in-your-face. A family meeting to discuss the reality of what's happening and down-the-road care and management of dad is what's needed and required moving forward. Whether the 'boys' like it or not is irrelevant: the truth must be spoken out loud.
Best of luck!
Based on the little you've described so far, your wisest course of action is to zip it. But what potential consequences do you think might arise from their ignorance?