Hello friends. I'm 67, my spouse is 10 years older. He's diabetic, and disabled and uses a walker around the house. His short term memory is hit and miss, and he's lost interest in things like managing bills, or even checking his own bank account. I've been handling all of that for the past 3 years, as well as taking care of him. He can do things like get in a tub, but I have to dress him, and clean up after accidents which happens once in a while.
My friends/family are concerned that I don't get out much any more. The thing is, I've always been more of stay at home person, so it doesn't bother me. When we were young, he did a lot for me, and now I have no regrets taking care of him. I know things will eventually get tougher. I'm so confused about all the legal issues. My main concern is, him having to be in a nursing home (in the future), and us getting financially wiped out.
We are both retired, and on Medicare. I have a basic understanding of the Medicaid 5 year look back situation, but I'm wondering with him being 77 and diabetic (with his meds it's under control), how can we pull this off at this point? Suppose something happens very soon where he has to be in a nursing home or we need at home care? He gets a teacher's pension and of course, SS. I only get SS and some side money from custom projects. Our combined savings right now including his IRA is about 110,000. My SS payments go directly to our savings account each month.
I'm in the process of looking for an affordable eldercare attorney (I know that's an oxymoron), because I'm beginning to lose sleep over this.. My big fear is being left with nothing if suddenly, things turn for the worse. We own a coop worth about a mil which I don't want to lose. Any suggestions? I feel like I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions. Thank you so much.
Also want to advise not to do anything on your own until you see the attorney - do not decide to pursue at this point on your own "medical divorce", selling your home, applying to Medicaid, etc etc. Wait until your attorney advises what to do - and let him do the heavy lifting to accomplish whatever he advises.
Don't worry - it's going to work out with the help of an Elder Care Attorney.
Through my union, we were able to get wills and POAs done for free and a discount on Elder Law fees
You will know by your gut feeling if that Elder Law Attorney is the right person. Scroll to the bottom of this page.... you will see "Elder Law Attorneys", click on that.... type in your City/State. That is how I found my Elder Law Attorney :)
You need an elder law attorney now to help you with division of assets and protection of assets for yourself.
While you can care for him, you, as his wife make the decisions; no one else.
He is still OK I think to give POA with an elder law attorney writing that document for him; tell him it is so you can continue to pay all the bills and handle things for him. The attorney will examine him for ability to give appoint you his POA.
The attorney can help you with your questions.
Best to you.