Suggestions on how to "lose" hubby's cell phone in MC?

Be sure if you "lose" the phone to make the DON aware. My daughter says that when a phone is "lost" a report needs to be made up and the phone has to be searched for only to find...a family member took the phone and didn't tell anyone.

Delete the voicemails without listening to them. You can see he's called, and ring him back when it suits you.

That's what my kids have always done anyway, and I've never even left a cross word.

When my dad went to memory care, they said they really preferred residents not have cell phones in their room but would allow them to be kept in their office. They keep them all in bags by resident. I programmed my sister and my phone number in. He can call me anytime he wants but there is at least some control on it. As time has gone on, the calls are fewer but sometimes he still calls although now, I think he forgets to.

I ended up just taking my mother’s phone from MC one day when she was sleeping.

She just never asked about it again.

Prior to that, she would fixate on it, and make up stories about how she would try me, but I didn’t answer, which was not true.

For my mother, out of sight meant out of mind.

Geriatric psychiatrist, asap.

My MIL in LTC facility (and with short-term memory impairment and mild dementia) now has as landline with 1-button memory dial. The buttons have our pictures on them instead of numbers. She was constantly leaving her prior handset off the cradle so the battery was always dead. I would only do this if your LO doesn't remember how to call 911 or anyone else's numbers from long-term memory.

Also, if he isn't already on medication to address his aggitation, it may be time to consider this. If he is on something, seems like it needs to be adjusted or changed. His disease makes it impossible for him to bring himself to a calm state without help. Medication would be merciful.

We are switching our LO to www.razmobility.com phone for Alzheimer's patients. It might work for you too.

Cancel the phone account. How can he bug you incessantly if he doesn't have a phone and can't call you?? Either that, or erase the voicemails after he leaves them, without listening to them. The MC can't take his cell phone away; it's his personal property, so that option is out.

The best thing to do, really, is to visit less frequently while he adjusts to life in the MC. If he's acting out and being awful to you when you do visit, you're just making yourself miserable by going. Let him know you're happy TO visit, but you'll not stay if he's going to act out. You'll come back at another time when he's in a better mood. That's what I did with my mother who lived in MC and you'd be surprised; she caught on rather quickly that I would not stand for her abusive behavior towards me; that I did nothing to deserve it. So cut it out, mother, or I am LEAVING. Same thing on the phone: play nice or I'm hanging up.

As far as the phone goes; my mother had a landline in her room at the MC. She had a lot of difficulty with it toward the end; the last year of her life was one thing after another with that phone. But I couldn't bring myself to take it away from her; that would cut off her only contact with the outside world. But I could control when I answered MY phone and which voicemails I listened to. I knew the MC would call me if there was a problem to report, too.

I think you need to set down some rules for yourself moving forward. Let DH know that you love him, but that you can't live with the stress he's causing you to THIS degree, so cool it. Then take whatever steps YOU need to take to stop him from getting through to you.

Good luck!