In 1,000 way too brief characters. Living with us daughter and two month old son, 85 year old ill father, 95 year old Hospice pt. mother. Mother-in-law died after 4 years care. I am 61 burning out with feelings I don't like. Sometimes I wish it would end so I can have MY life back. I don't mean it and beat myself up for selfishly wanting it and not always stopping to entertain them. Blessed none are difficult. Hospice quit sanity saving16 hours of respite a week. I can't afford $1,000 a month for in-home care. We are only children responsible for all. At our age, they traveled the world having a ball. When is it OUR turn? We are caring for parents and grandchildren. Later I will HATE myself for these feelings, already do. Have NEVER been short or abusive, they can't help it. Mom doesn't want to be a burden, I assure her she's not, yet inside a voice screams, "Yes you are!!" How awful! Do others have such thoughts? How do you find peace on the roller coaster from hell? Thanks for help.
You are in a situation that requires super human efforts. I cared, over the course of twenty years, for a total of seven elders - at one time I had five dependent on me. I did make use of the best nursing home in my area which was just blocks from my home, since gradually each elder became so ill or frail I couldn't care for them at home (and couldn't have cared well for five of them, anyway). I still took care of most needs and was the advocate and daily visitor.
I hope you can get some type of respite help. Do you have a block nurse program in your area. Does the Area Agency on Aging cover your community? You can go to your state Web site and look under aging services or something similar. The will have a version of the National Family Caregiver Support Program. Please do some looking on that site to see if you can get some help.
Best wishes. You are a saint.
Much happiness and peace,
Not only is it s tremendous strain and burden and irritation at times, but when they were confronted with this very possibility in their own lives they sent there parents (left alive) to nursing homes faster than you can say, un-fair!
All I can say is hang in there and take good care of your self, don't let it make you ill or crazy, you don't have to kill yourself for this to be a good person, you are already a good person for the decisions you made and your desire to help loved ones who can no longer care for themselves.