yrs, 55 in her apt which was emptied and no longer hers-i wasnt told ,i never did any going thru of her things-i dont feel my brother is giving her the kind of care she deserves-he has her in a nh far from her frinds and me-she keeps telling me to bring her shoes and come close quickly ,hedoesn visit- butnot for any lenght of time-he doesnt feel her the way i do-i am the elsdest-he is the youngest-mom and i have a speial bond iknow this isworse for her thanme and itsperetty badforebut he has control not sure howhe managed to get her to take my name off of the edical POA, but he did-he keeps me as out of theinfo /med loop as possible
i have to jump thru hoops toget any real answers and not the answers that are usually given
that will be what general and not personal ;like oh she is ok, ot like oh she is fine everything is ok= hard to get details
i am worried about her
it is a clean place,but understaffed, not alot ofindividual care, and basically a ware house for medicated elderly people,that are medicated,and frustrated,and left to just rant and rave---things can be done to help calm people down- without having to medicate them into zombie land-
but this isnt good for her
she deserves better
any ideas ?anyone had similar experience?
im disgusted-
she is frightened and wants me close talks about death if she doesnt get out of there=
but when i ask- she is doing fine-
bull.
I appreciate your comment,but I am aware of all you stated. I have done lots of research and asked questions for the past 7 months. I wouldn't jeopardize my mom's well being to satisfy myself. I have been trained to suction, unclog the feeding tube and have learned the diaper changing. That is not the issue..
Its been a mistake all along by agencies and lying social workers and doctors to keep my mother in a nursing facility. Its very easy to state to keep her in nursing home when you are there most of the day and have to constantly remind them to change her diaper (which they prefer to do every 8 or 10 hours . "Patient Care" at hospitals is "Don't Care". I am more than sure that with her at home I can change her frequently and it would be a less negative environment.Clothes getting lost and stolen items are a turn-off and people after money.This is all a scam and a business. I wont give up and I will stop when she dies..At least I wont feel bad and cant say I tried.Thanks for the well wishes..I hope I get my wish and prayer.
Usually (at least in this state) someone on Medicaid has a case manager or social worker assigned. Does your mother? That would be a good person to contact.
I think it would be a good idea for krnhersh to have a heart-to-heart in-person discussion with Brother, and hear all the reasons he decided that a NH would be best for Mom. Maybe he is selfish and lazy, and maybe he is sincerely tryig to do his best. But hearing his version would be useful. Bringing mother (with dementia) into your home to live is a huge life-changing decision, and it needs to be thought about carefully from the head as well as the heart.
I am sincerely sorry for the pain you are feeling. Do let us know the results if you talk to a lawyer.
krn.....you still haven't said what your mother's mental status is and what she would like. That would help a lot. And yes, you really need to let an attorney handle it. And not one that only wants to gouge you in the wallet.
italianbabs......I'm glad everything worked out for you. I'm sure you are much relieved now and mom is too since she got her money back.
Jam
I just know this whole thing is going to come down to what the Bible talks about, "the LOVE of money being the root of all EVIL" In most cases I've read about, it's one sibling who never has liked the parent much or had some burn on about their family, finally getting the opportunity to grab control of what money that parent has and put the screws to the family. Tell me if I'm wrong.
later-
k
tried to speak to mom about 1hr ago- nuse -ot on pfloor- only 1 cna-, asked to have dr call me back- pn vacation- so please leave mess- or give me office #-she said - oh i dont have any number for him-what a crock!!so, getting ove the 45 min ridiculous
conversations, i am now taking a break for some oj- and then head into the legal areas-
thanks-
late
love u
k
idont know- too many things to take care of now- later i can delve into human behaviors ,etc.
and thisworked for u?????
going to check this out-
found a lawyer- but also had issues of my brother sueing me -fathers estate- but i wanted this lawyer to help with moms deal too- she was going to charge 500 for dads isues, and said since mom was in mass. she had to refer me to someone there- i dont think i am comfortable hiring this lawyer-
thanks sp much for sharing- lots of great info-
love
k
Who has both Medical and Financial Durable POA now?
See a lawyer.
to empty and remove and refuse to gie me any details-reasons- is that right?
i dot understand--but then again-a great deal of this whole process is very cruel.