The hard part is over.
I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes.
Sadly, I have the same kind of relationship with my 4th daughter. I am her "primary stressor" and SHE has to take something so she won't scream at me. It's just lovely all around.
I can control the amt of time and WHEN I see my mother, and my daughter simply call screens me (she lives 3000 miles away) and so I almost never see her. She only speaks to me when she can "handle" it. 4 months, now. Kinda sad to be on both sides of this equation.
If it turns out I need to be on something, I will do it willingly. I am only holding off now so I can be sure not to miss any signs with 96 yr DH.
There are also foods you can eat - cashews work wonders with depression and anxiety. Google foods for anxiety - you might be surprised at what you find.
I used to have panic attacks years ago, but, it wasn't related to caregiving. My primary really helped me. I learned all I could about them, learned coping techniques for warding them off when I felt them coming on and had medication as a backup. Once, I was well informed, all I needed was the backup of having the meds available. Just knowing they were there, just in case, helped me. They are so scary. You can't know what it's like until you have one. There is hope though. They can be treated. I was so relieved that mine went away and have not resurfaced in many years, even though, I have suffered severe stress with caregiving. I hope you can find some help. Take care of yourself.
Take care of your own issues. I take Xanax and it helps tremendously.