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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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After a disturbing phone call from a family friend my sister and I decided to make appointment for Doctor without his knowledge.We will let him know the day before.We live 3 hours away and we need Doctor to confirm what we are seeing.Memory loss.
I assume the disturbing phone call was the last straw, rather than the first you'd heard of it.
Best practice in dementia care is not to advise people of appointments in advance. Not because you're trying to trap him into anything, but because it creates anxiety and confusion and then more anxiety about being unable to remember and feeling confused... so much so that the appointment, no matter how innocuous, becomes associated with upsetting emotions. Which is not a good start.
If you and sister are both taking him to see his doctor, the Good Operating Practice is to go to his house, help him get ready to go out, and when he says (ideally not until you're all in the car and on the road) 'where are we going?' you reply: "we are going to see Dr Bloggs who wants to run a health check on you."
It would be really helpful if you also have something nice lined up, like lunch at his favourite restaurant, so that the main event of the day as far as he's concerned is a trip out with his two girls. So that then you would be able to say "we are going to La Stupenda, hurrah! And on the way we need to call in on Dr Bloggs, because he wants to run a health check on you."
Avoid lying. If you can't give him an honest (or at least partly truthful) answer try to change the subject instead.
I would handle it very carefully, since when you tell him, he may refuse to go. I'd have Plan A, Plan B, etc. just in case. Do you think he'll just agree to go spur of the moment, for reasons he doesn't agree with?
Also, I'd prepare a detailed list of what is concerning you for the doctor to see. Your dad doesn't have to see it. Have you observed odd behavior or friends, neighbors, etc. I would include that, as it gives more impact and support for your concerns. I have done that with two of my family members. I took the list in ADVANCE and stressed how important it was for them to read it BEFORE they saw my loved one. It worked great, but take a copy with you, just in case they misplace it. This list of your observations and concerns will provide the doctor with info that will aid them in their consult.
Keep in mind that sometimes people who are declining will do pretty well when at the doctor's office. It's unreal. I'd be prepared for that too. Keep in mind to explore their ability to maintain their household, take medications, etc. and not just give the date, President and what facility they are in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best practice in dementia care is not to advise people of appointments in advance. Not because you're trying to trap him into anything, but because it creates anxiety and confusion and then more anxiety about being unable to remember and feeling confused... so much so that the appointment, no matter how innocuous, becomes associated with upsetting emotions. Which is not a good start.
If you and sister are both taking him to see his doctor, the Good Operating Practice is to go to his house, help him get ready to go out, and when he says (ideally not until you're all in the car and on the road) 'where are we going?' you reply: "we are going to see Dr Bloggs who wants to run a health check on you."
It would be really helpful if you also have something nice lined up, like lunch at his favourite restaurant, so that the main event of the day as far as he's concerned is a trip out with his two girls. So that then you would be able to say "we are going to La Stupenda, hurrah! And on the way we need to call in on Dr Bloggs, because he wants to run a health check on you."
Avoid lying. If you can't give him an honest (or at least partly truthful) answer try to change the subject instead.
Also, I'd prepare a detailed list of what is concerning you for the doctor to see. Your dad doesn't have to see it. Have you observed odd behavior or friends, neighbors, etc. I would include that, as it gives more impact and support for your concerns. I have done that with two of my family members. I took the list in ADVANCE and stressed how important it was for them to read it BEFORE they saw my loved one. It worked great, but take a copy with you, just in case they misplace it. This list of your observations and concerns will provide the doctor with info that will aid them in their consult.
Keep in mind that sometimes people who are declining will do pretty well when at the doctor's office. It's unreal. I'd be prepared for that too. Keep in mind to explore their ability to maintain their household, take medications, etc. and not just give the date, President and what facility they are in.