My mom passed in November. Her last day she had terminal agitation. I am having a struggle getting past that day. Very upsetting. Hospice did help with checking for pain, poop and pee and provided medication. I am speaking with a hospice counselor. Has anyone experienced that and, if so, how did you overcome the experience of witnessing terminal agitation? Is time the only thing that heals?
I feel like you. I have two grown daughters. I have already told them that I don’t expect them to be my caregivers should I need help in the future.
Wishing you peace as you continue on in life. My father had a stroke. Strokes are life changing. I watched my dad go from being independent to needing help. It’s hard.
Just to update you, the poster’s mom has died.
Wishing you peace as you heal and move forward.
Personally, I may have driven myself crazy if I rehashed and rehashed the things I did right and the things I did wrong caring for my mother. I had to chose sanity.
I think of my memories as thoughts in a shoebox that I can pull off the shelf to spend time visiting and then I can put them away.
I suggest you meet with a grief therapist and release the images and sounds of your mother's last day.....................rest in peace and acceptance. The Five Stages of Grief is a good topic to read up on. Learning to meditate can help you move along. I have done quite well on Mindfulness Meditation (guided).
Thank you for the therapist suggestion. That is very helping.
Set yourself free from depressing thoughts. Take care.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My best wishes to you and I am so very sorry for your loss and your pain, and so grateful you were with your Mom. This is very new. Give yourself some time and remember to remember the beauty and the joy.
My husbands last 4 weeks of his life were horrific, as his pain and agitation were off the charts and hospice wasn't able to help with either, though I guess I can say they tried.
After my husband died I felt like I was suffering from PTSD, from all that I had seen and witnessed with him.
Thankfully 3 months later, my husband appeared to me while I was sleeping(yet I woke to actually see him)and he appeared much younger, healthy, tan, and best of all smiling at me. It was then that I knew he was ok, and now when the visuals of his last days try to creep in, I immediately replace it with the smiling face of him that came to visit me in the middle of the night.
So hang in there. This too shall pass.
God bless you.