She refuses to tell the dr and is very sneaky about it. She can be very good when she has to, yet she stole his pistol and put it under her pillow. She came downstairs one night, bit him on shoulder yelled he was demon and screamed. She is crazy. I was there for a few days and saw it myself; she definitely has dementia, but when we tell anyone or he calls rescue when she is having her spells, she turns nice, signs herself out of the hospital and tells them he's being mean to her, and gets out. What does he do? She needs help and can't be by herself.
Altho nobody thinks these two powder kegs belong together, they stay together. About 8 months ago, recently released from prison, they got high and had a huge fight--she grabbed one of their many guns and shot him 5 times in the stomach.
He nearly died and is not healed yet but maintains that he shot himself. So she left town and he spent months in the hospital. His mother went and got him after he was released and brought him home. (she has custody of his 3 kids).
As soon as was humanly possible, he stole mom's truck and went back to ND to his wife.
Kinda sounds like your son is addicted to this woman and this is a hot mess--I can't believe the guy in my story--really. Wife MEANT to kill him, but didn't. And now they're back together.
It's a sickness, for sure. They may complain about the other person, but the addiction to a "PERSON" can be phenomenally strong.
I would suggest you take a huge step backwards---the mom in this story has tried and tried to make it all be OK, but the son is a lost cause. She blames the wife--but it's an equally screwed up dynamic.
If she isn’t on meds, she needs to be! How can he sleep at night knowing that she has a gun under her pillow? She bites him? You have witnessed this abuse? Did you say anything to him about her crazy behavior? How long has this been going on?
I am trying to look at this logically. Does she spy on him 24/7? Can’t he find a time to remove the gun from underneath her pillow? Please explain further.
Get the gun, leave the home. If he wants to help her he can report her problems to her doctor or a social worker and possibly the police and let them take control.
If she can fake out doctors, can’t hurt to try the police. After all, she has taken his gun!
She is too dangerous to be around.
Providing more information to your son could be a very good idea – search schizophrenia, for example, and send him anything useful you find. If he insists on staying there, you don’t have many options.
I’m not meaning to be difficult, but many parents would be appalled to find an adult child coping with bad behaviour from someone who has a mental illness and might be dangerous. Being more sympathetic might be the best way to finding out what is going on, and providing helpful advice.
Your son should get out. He should record any meltdowns from start to finish while he is getting his stuff out. Personally, I would contact the police and explain that she makes false accusations and that he needs help safely moving out and how can they help him. Being sure to tell them that she has stolen his gun.
Sometimes love is not enough in these situations, he needs to protect himself and let her family or the authorities deal with her.
Is he ready to exit the relationship or is he making excuses for why he has to stay? Because she can be left as long as she has not been deemed incompetent by a court of law. A doctor telling you that you can not leave doesn't hold any weight because you are still considered competent, with rights until a court declares you incompetent.
Best of luck and safety to all involved.
That's up to him, of course. But hopefully, he'll decide he's had enough BEFORE she does terrible harm to him.
Good luck!
He is damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't at this point.
Whether she took the gun to hide under her pillow because she thinks he will hurt her, or if she took it to hurt him, no one knows.
This dynamic cannot end well, and will more likely be on an upcoming tragic news cycle.
Whatever their relationship, (is he a caregiver?) this needs to end now. He could call APS on his way out the back door, imo.
There is way too much liability for him in this case.
I would advise they not spend another night together.
Call her next of kin, family.
Check her meds. check for a UTI.