I have five sisters between the ages of 46 and 66. Both parents are 87, Dad has dementia, Mom isn't far behind. Mom insists on staying at the home although there is no bathroom on the first floor and they have to go up the stairs to go to the bathroom or bed. They now require 24 hour a day care. The sister who is staying with them during the week is draining their finances and Mom will not stop her. There are only three of us who are able to stay on the weekend, but this has been going on for well over a year. They are truly no safe at home even though we have made major adjustments to the house. When is it ok to throw in the towel and tell them that they need to go into the nursing home?
For those elders who are still sharp as a tack but have mobile issues, they need to see for themselves that their house is no longer elder friendly.
I know if my parents start calling because they can't walk up or down the stairs any longer, I will suggest they put their bedroom set in the dining room... Mom would be horrified if we had to do that. And that might be the eye opener she needs.
When I read between the lines of your message, I think you are in the same position as I was then. So I believe it is time to place here in a nursing home. Of course it takes some time to accept the situation once there are out of the house, but believe me, after a couple of weeks I was very glad I had thrown the towel. In the beginning, he was not very happy at the nursing home, but there were very good nurses and other personnel for animation etc.. and I saw that he was well taken care off and that he also felt happier after a couple of weeks. For him, it must have been better also that there was no longer arguments and discussions and lack of patience with him the last year he was with me. So 1 good advice : think about your health and your future. This is not being egoistic. It is a matter of self protection. Big hug and wish you the best.
Here, I have been told that , as long as you are able to stand and get into and out of bed with the assistance of one person, you may reside in assisted living. If not, a nursing home may be in order. Or if they need daily medical care. nursing home care might be appropriate. I would get an assessment, so you can locate a place that is a good fit for them.