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Since there is dementia as part of their health concerns, neither will remember your prior conversations about moving. You just have to move forward, I would suggest:

1 - Start by streamlining their home to bare essentials. Empty guest rooms, storage closets, extras of anything. Streamline the kitchen to 1-2 pots, 1-2 pans, 2 sets of dishes to eat off of...

2 - Streamline their clothing to about 2-3 weeks' worth of everyday clothes and 1-2 nice outfits for seasonal outings (some for spring/summer and some for winter/fall). Donate the rest and get those tax receipts for mom and dad.

3 - Create a calendar with count down to move on it. Put it on their refrigerator and mark off days. Place pictures of the place(s) they are going next to the calendar.

4 - Start moving things they will need into the new place(s) or into storage or trunk of care EARLY. Every time something gets stowed, it is a reminder that their is a move coming.

5 - On move day, handle outbursts and hesitations matter-of-factly and steel your emotions. Put everything that needs to be moved into vehicles first. Place your parents in last.

6 - Respect the facility(ies) guidelines about settling in. Most facilities require2 weeks of COVID quarantine when visitors are not allowed. Afterwards, expect "distanced" visits via phone, window, or porch with no physical contact allowed.

Question: Why don't you have mom and dad moving together into the same facility. They will be happier being together and settle in sooner into the facility's routines. I have known of many married couples that share a room in long term care.
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well, there seems to be a lot of answers...but . do what deems better for your family... is there are right move or answer? no telling with dementia, etc...
hope they are ok and the decisions that are made for them..no right or wrong... make sure family visits them often.
make sure they know they are not alone.. visit often, laugh talk, smile. read to them... play music eat fun food.
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I don't think it is a good idea to seperate your parents. They are bookends. Find a facility where they can be together. Take them to the facility and let them chose between the rooms available. Choice goes a long way to reducing resentments. If they can take personal items, help them select and move the items.
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MAYDAY Dec 2020
They are bookends :)
If at all possible, try to keep them in same facility..
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Please, please face the fact that there comes a time when you have done all in your power to handle the situation but it is not going to help and it will get worse. So, do you want to continue and be slowly destroyed or are you going to get tough and tell them like it is and what the rules are now. YOU are in charge now, they have proven they are no longer capable. YOU must seek where to put them and how and in what kind of a place. Do this the instant you see things happening - be prepared - think out of the box - be prepared at all times. You cannot wait. Seek help and take appropriate action whether they like it or not - you have no choice.
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Keep them in same facility. One in memory care & the other in assisted living....which may quickly be graduate to memory care...Same facility...Don’t separate them. If & when one becomes violent, then Nursing home...Hugs 🤗
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try to keep ma and pa together if they are compatible.

find a place close to a family member, at least someone can visit.

get them involved in community as much as possible.
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