I have been caring for my mom for about 10yrs and i really need to look into an assisted living community. I have heard horror stories but recently went to see one and thought i should be checking myself in. I did not even realize assisted living had different levels. My mom is pretty active, but has some dementia and needs someone to help her with her pills. She just needs reminders to do stuff.
Anyway....I am open to any suggestions about assisted living.
If my parents were unable to stand up for themselves or completely dependant on the staff, that would be different.
First of all, it takes a lot of courage to take the step to place your mother! It is a hard decision but a necessary one. I took care of my mom for 6 years but I was a trained caregiver and knew what to do. I also work in an Assisted Living Facility and have a degree in Gerontology. My advice to you is to place her before her dementia gets worse. She does not need a dementia unit yet and will do well in assisted living. It does take adjustment time. I don't know how your finances are but Sunrise Senior Living (where I work in Maryland) has very high standards for their caregiving staff and has assisted living and a dementia unit in the same residence. This way they could stay in the same place where everyone knows them as their dementia gets worse. Look for a facility that has both levels. Also, tour a few and watch how the staff relates to the residents. Look for residents that look (or smell) dirty, and if you can, ask a few residents if they like it there. There are also great group homes. The Dept. of Aging or the Alzheimers Asso. has lots of resources to help you find the right place. I think there is a website through the counites that will provide you with facility rating scales, like how many regulations they failed in inspection, etc.
Hope that helps!
Call senior services or your local social security office and get the real facts about Medicaid. My husband is on a waiting list for the Memory Care unit of an assisted living facility for which Medicaid will pay all but $450 per month. We live in Oregon which has a very generous system.
My message is, don't take the work of others who are not in a position to know the real facts.
But what bothers me is that my mom, who has dementia, now would rather stay there than go out to dinner when I visit, would rather stay there so she won't miss getting her pills or her shower or whatever when one of "the girls" is due to be doing something for her at a certain time.
I never saw my mom dependent on anyone, and now she is.
It's way better than a nursing home, by far better than that. Those places terrify me. But if my mom--or when my mom--no longer knows who we are and no longer has the vaguest notion of her life, that has to be considered. I guess.
I hope you find a good place like my mom and dad did.