Tissue and toilet paper maniac. Anyone else?

I think we are all sharing the same situation. It is 11:00 PM and my Mom is setting in her chair playing with kleenex's and folding and refolding and I am so ready for bed. Last night she was doing the same thing and I had to get up extremely early to get my husband off to work, so I just told her, "Mom, we are going to bed, are you?" She looked at me and said "Now?" Then she piddled and diddled and doddled getting ready for bed and I was ready to pull my hair out. ..........I mean why not got to bed, instead of setting there folding and refolding kleenex, so everyone has to set up and be miserable?! She gets mad if I suggest bed or acts like I am punishing her. It is getting ridiculous!!.........I know she is setting in a Depends that has to be totally full of pee, because I have NOT seen her go to the bathroom all day and her diaper pail only has used toilet paper in it. She too puts her mess in there instead of flushing it. Does anyone have a clue why they do this? I am at wit's end and don't know what to do, each day is worse. Please help talk me through this. I am at wit's end!!

Our sewer department was on the news. last month complaining about the wet wipes. They said that using 2-3 at a time was causing the sewer department lots of problems.

My dad loves stashing food away in tissue paper. hides it in drawers, cupboards, under the bed, under the blankets or even lies on it. Everything get wrapped in tissue paper. He also goes through a roll of toilet paper in a day. He loves his trips to the bathroom. sometimes its normal and often its in and out. I wonder if he forgets that he had just been. Never sure. But we leave him. Not much we can do.

My husband puts his dirty tp in the wastebasket. I removed the wastebasket and he put them on the vanity counter so I put the bin back. I just remove them and throw them in the toilet or my bathroom smells like a horse barn. It could be worse... I told him to throw them in the toilet-- that is why they call it "toilet paper" but with the memory loss... All the plumbing issues sound worse. Please do not put anything down your toilet except tp if you can help it. I am down the street from a manhole and the county did not do maintenance on the sewer pipes. I had sewage coming into my luckily unfinished basement. Afterward, the county did lots of work on the pipes but they claimed they really did not know who was at fault. You cannot fight city hall as they say.

Gosh they are like children again. My grandson was in the bathroom quite a while so I checked on him. He was rolling and rolling the tp. Luckily, there was nothing too gross in the toilet so I grabbed all the stuff and chucked it in the wastebasket. The toilet was about to overflow. Sort of like Glen Campbell drinking dishwashing liquid and trying to eat superglue (in People Mag). For a child you can childproof your home but if you put the stuff up high the adult can reach it. Guess you have to lock it up or do what Glen's family finally did-- put him in a home:-( My husband has not reached the incontinence stage yet. I feel for you and do not look forward to it. I saw an ad for Liberty diapers that are supposed to be covered my medicare.

This sure must be a common thing. Grandma collected her tissues, napkins, anything paper and filled drawers with it. A neighbor I cared for used a tissue a minute to wipe a non-existent runny nose. But Mom was the grand master at running through the toilet tissue! A roll at a time unless we stopped it. I can't tell you how many toilets we have had to unstick.

It is natural to wonder WHY? With all three, it seemed a different reason. Grandma just seemed to need something to collect to help her feel secure. Neighbor just needed something in her hands. Mom, the one with Alzheimers, I pondered long and hard about. I concluded that the paper in the bathroom usage had much to do with the state of Mom's consciousness. Her world was reduced to the moment, to the immediate. I theorized that when Mom went to the bathroom, she would forget that she had already wiped, so she did it again...and again...and again.

We also removed all tissue from the bathrooms, setting a roll in a closed cabinet nearby for family members, but only a few sheets doled out to Mom whenever she had to go. This worked well, but it required that one of us be almost constantly available to Mom to do so.

I too, welcomed the incontinence when it finally arrived. Little did I know that changing would then become a terrible bone of contention between Mom and me. So, be careful what you wish for. You may just get it.

The toilet tissue phase lasted a good four or five years in our family. We all had to get used to the routine of handing Mom some tissue on the way to the bathroom, or bringing some to her if she got there before we did. In the end, one of us had to always accompany her for she forgot where the bathroom was and once there, sometimes forget what was supposed to be done there. BM in the late stages became the same problem and often feces went on the floor instead of in the toilet.

Not everyone goes through all of these stages of course, but maybe hearing about it and how common it is will help someone else. I don't know why we have to try to find a reason for everything, but that is how we are hooked up. I just always tried to imagine how it would be if I could not remember anything from one moment to the next.

I sure wish I had found this forum long ago. Keep up all the good work, posters. WE need each other!

Mom: "hey why did you throw that napkin away"? " It's still clean I only used it once"

I pray they don't start stuffing their incontinence things in the commode. I have been there and done that and it is NOT fun. I've had a stuffed up commode and an overflowing one that ruined the bathroom and the bedroom carpet. I managed to fish the Depends out the different times she has done it, thank heavens........Then all of a sudden she quits doing it. I'm thinking why did she do it all those times, why did you suddenly quit?? She puts her dirty toilet paper in her diaper pail and she does not understand to flush it. Once in a blue moon she does! It's just easier to pee in the Depends and she knows she is doing it, too. I watch her and so does my husband. Then she looks just as guilty as can be. I'm thinking some of hers may be just being spiteful.......It sure is doing a number on me and trying to keep her from stinking is beyond control. How do you get the "funky" bathroom and pee smell out of your house. I don't even want anyone to come to my house, ever. I know if I smell it, they would have to. Cleaning doesn't help the aroma, unless it is embedded in my nose. When I mention about the smell or a bath or her Depends being wet or the toilet paper, she looks so hurt, like I have cursed her or something and that I would never do. I am just really puzzled!!

Try looking into a bidet seat, which can drastically reduce or even eliminate the need for paper and is overall much more hygienic. Brondell in San Francisco makes a full line of bidet products, from fancy electronic seats to simple non-electric bidet attachments and sprayers. Good luck!

Chloesgrams2012, I think the smell of pee is imbedded in my nose as well! Dad pees into an old Rubbermaid pitcher during the night and when I open the door to his bedroom in the morning to empty it, I gag. After I empty and wash it I can still smell the pee. I don't know why my mom throws her used tp in the trash. I feel like I am constantly spraying room deodorizer and I still cannot get the smell out! I know what you mean about not wanting people to come over. Can't wait for it to warm up so I can open the windows!

Rhondalo222, I feel for you. I am glad I am not by myself, but would not wish this on anyone. It is almost to the point where I do not want to go check the bathroom for fear of what I will find.........As I type, it is almost midnight and my Mom is setting in her chair rattling a potato chip bag and eating chips. For the previous 3 hrs she has shuffled and rustled the Sunday paper scrunching and crunching the ad inserts! I am about to go stark raving crazy, I am soooo tired!.......I am beginning to think it is an obsession with ALL paper kleenex, toilet, newspaper and especially the rattly kind that can drive you crazy!!........I go through quiet a bit of room deodorizer, also, but it is also just about as bad mixing it with the pee smell!!......I have absolutely NOone to confide in or vent to. My husband works out of town 5-6 days a week and we are just very thankful he has a job. Plus, he doesn't have to put up with what I go through and my daughter is a PA at the ER of our local hospital and stays extremely busy. I call both of them to make sure their clocks and phones have went off to get up and they both wait for me to call knowing we have to hit the floor now. I have been being late in doing this and I am not happy because I have always been on a schedule and on time. She is wearing me out! Thanks for listening. It helps to talk.

I have been using Clorox Cleenup in a spray bottle to clean the raised toilet seat & around the toilet & that seems to help with the strong urine odor. Have to be very careful to rinse well, tho. My problem lately has been bm odors as my mother refuses (or forgets) to use the exhaust fan & that travels. She wants to use cover up sprays which imo are worse! rhondalo222 I am with you on warmer weather & getting fresh air!

And chloesgrams2012 it seems you have enough on your plate without having to be an alarm clock for two capable adults. Have you talked to your husband & daughter to see if they could get friends or co-workers to help them out on that issue? Keep posting & checking this site. It is a lifesaver for me, thanks to everyone who contributes!

my message goes to chloesgram...she is NOT doing this to be spiteful...it sounds like she doesn't have anything to do with her hands and thats why she is a "napkin/kleenex refolder"...i learned early on to ask her "WHY ARE YOU FOLDING THIS KLEENEX.......ARE YOU WORRIED IT WILL GET DIRTY? OR WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER?".......TALK ABOUT IT TO HER!! LET HER ANSWER!.... give her a bag of peas to shell, a bucket of green beans to snap, labels to put on envelopes, stamps on cards, anything to keep her hands busy......it will help......also, i constantly tell my mom the time of day,from the moment she wakes up til the time she goes to bed......remember, she probably can't remember what time of the day it is.....softly tell her, its 6 0'clock , time for the news , then dinner, then bedtime at 9 or whatever your schedule ...i think you will be surprized how much this helps .......our parents need a schedule too......it helps so much to have a routine.......before i did this with my mom, it was difficult getting her to go to bed....now she understands, its time to go to bed at nine and time to get up at eight......i say it the same way everytime.....especcially with her hearing loss this helps.....

My Mother does the same things with tissue, paper towels and toilet paper. I am so happy to hear these things. I thought she was weird. Now she sounds like the rest. I can handle this! Thank you all so much!

Not sure where the Kleenex/TP fascination comes from, but my folks have it too. Mom and Dad both have dementia. Every day, as soon as she gets up, Mom takes 5 Kleenex, folds them up into little squares and puts them in the pocket of her robe. Every day. Exactly 5. She has a constant clear fluid drip from her nose, so she keeps them to wipe her nose.

Dad uses LOTS of TP. We called the plumber about every six weeks to clean out the drains. He said DO NOT use "flushable wipes" as they are not really flushable, and do not disintegrate. As for the TP, since Dad insists on using so much, we stock his bathroom with the cheapest TP we can get that is safe for a septic system.

We have tissue stuffed everywhere, my Mother constantly wipes her eyes, nose, mouth, How she doesn't succumb to infection is beyond me!. Toilet rolls are stuffed in her drawers and if we run out, we always know where to find some! . All day long, she moans " Oh God," " Oh God", when I say " is something wrong?" she says she doesn't know she's doing it. From the moment she wakes up till the moment she goes to bed she moans and whimpers, it is extremely irritating and she expects me wait on her hand and foot, even though she is capable of making a sandwich, or a cup of tea!. I'm moaning again aren't I! ?

Luv it tryinghard54. I was JUST thinking about my own mother and her 'absent-minded' moaning/groaning. We just had two full days of company for mother's day and birthday. It was wonderful for her with all the family and she had a great visit. But as soon as house goes back to normal she is back to the moan thing again---out load, all day where I hear it. I usually go in my room and turn on music or tv to drown it out. She, like your mom, doesn't even realize she does it but it is annoying and depressing.

I don't know why they do it but my Mother does the moaning and groaning thing too. Iy makes me have anxiety when now I know nothing is wrong with her. I ask her if she is in pain or what is the matter with her and then she laughs..

College, you said your Mom just laughs when you ask her what is the matter. My Mom laughs at everything. I wondered if it is because they have NO idea what you are saying or mean or it is just a habit to laugh. My Mom laughs at everything! Just wondering?!

my father also moans lightly when lying down (he says he is resting his eyes cause he can never sleep......even though we hear him snore). But my father also likes to have noise around him. I have went to their house to find a radio on in the kitchen, the tv on in living room but also a radio turned down low so you only here a hum, and then another radio on in bedroom. I think in his growing up years as a child felt like he was abanded or something cause he doesn't like silence. and heaven forbid if mom goes outside to look at flowers, she hears him in house yelling where are you.

My mother keeps her bedside radio on a talk radio station all night. She says it helps her keep her mind off 'things' & helps her go back to sleep. Her dad was a radio & tv junkie with some type of sports going on both in the same room. I think some people have difficulty with their inner thoughts or need the distraction from fears when getting older. Or can't handle quiet & need noise.

I dont know. I think you may be right. Mommy is always so sweet now and laughs at everything too. That's sad, gosh now you got me thinking. She gets confused a lot now and tries to pretend she just forgot for a minute. She wants to laugh with us and never think we would laugh at her. We all love her and respect her. I am so thankful she is pleasant now. Sometimes I need to tell her 4 or 5 times before she gets it. Sometimes she will shake her head yes and look at me really weird with a half smile on her face. Wonder what will happen next? Two of my daughters watched her for me yesterday from 1:00pm til 11:20am this morning. They said gosh Mom you made it easy with all your instructions but we are both tired. You nesd a brake Mom! I had to take my husband to sleep apnea test in Gainesville, FL. Because of sundowners I had to spend the night with him.

Yes, have that problem too!

Two ideas.. For the smells, try vinegar. Urine has ammonia which is alkaline and try to neutralize that with the acidity of vinegar. You can put it in a spray bottle and spray the air or put or bowls of vinegar to absorb odors. The vinegar smell dissipates. Also it's not dangerous if it gets touched or ingested. Second, try substituting something else for keeping the hands busy. Instead of tearing up tissues, could you get their help in recycling yesterday's newspaper? See if they could "help the animals at the shelter by tearing up the paper into strips so it can be used for the poor animals bedding or litter boxes". They can put the strips in a large garbage bag which you can then recycle or "take to the shelter or vets office". If anyone tries this let us know how it works out.

My mother-in-law would not only go through kleenex, toilet paper but also paper towels. I just considered it something I had to get used to...great ideas from all of the above.

Mom loved paper. She would fiddle with a napkin or letter until it was just limp from wear.
I think hers was a nervous thing. Just needed to do something with her hands.
Caring for Dad now in my home and he won't use enough TP for my likes. He rations it like it is a dollar a sheet.
But then he also squirrels away tissues in his pockets like it is the last one, so better keep it and they go in his pockets and disintegrate in the laundry. He comes from a generation where you throw nothing away. Use everything until it is worn out or broken, then have it repaired or patched up.

My Mom has a paper problem, but not quite like these others. My Mom has her own bathroom in my house, right off her bedroom. She keeps at least 3 extra rolls of toilet paper on the toilet, some neatly folded toilet paper on the window sill, along with at least 2 -3 boxes of tissues. She has several boxes of tissues in her bedroom, at least one on each piece of furniture & others in some of the drawers. She even sleeps with tissue under her head at night. I guess she's afraid she's going to run out of it!

I have the opposite problem. My 89 year old mother who has dementia, doesn't use enough toilet paper and therefore does not wipe herself properly and makes a mess of things. Her colitis has recently flared up so this is a big concern.. I thought of taking away her toilet paper and substitute a different product that is larger. We tried the wet wipes, but she refused to use them just for urination. Any suggestions? Product must be flushable.

I should have stock in Klenex tissues. Any suggestion for husband that goes through a box a day, sometimes not using just folding neatly & filling every pocket, same with napkins when we are out. I tried putting the unused back into the box but he knows, and will never use the same tissue twice, " I'm not going to use someone else's tissue"