We were never married, I have no legal standing. Three adults children live within 10 miles, I live 50 miles away. Two of them completely ignore their father and the situation. One daughter, she’s the youngest, has 2 young children and she’s a single mom, works full time, and has too much on her plate. She brings food and tries to help as she is able.
This is a highly disfunctional family. Addiction has been a part of their lives, always...in periods of sobriety and active addiction.
He abused his prescribed pain meds for years. Had a stroke earlier this year and was kicked out of pain management and his meds cut off shortly after. Bought pills in the street for a while, then methadone, and now is doing heroin.
Has many legitimate pain issues but also a long history of addiction and at this point no Dr will prescribe any pain meds
He's also addicted to benzo, same thing, no longer gets a prescription so buys them illegally.
He truly is a danger to himself and others, and I’m ready to call APS.
BIG Question: if they come and see illegal drugs, paraphernalia, can this result in arrest? I want them to see it so I don’t have to tell them, but I don’t want him to add legal problems to an already overwhelming situation.
Can’t see how jail would help. He’s 71 with multiple physical problems and early dementia. Addiction aside, he’s in poor health to start with and needs help.
Can't get home healthcare cause no Medicaid but can’t afford private pay.
Any other suggestions?
He is not willing or cooperative to do anything as far as treatment. He is only interested in finding a Dr to give him his scripts back (oxy and Valium) Lives alone. Dirty, no food, still driving but I see new dents every time I come
The kids aren’t doing anything. I have tried speaking with them but it goes nowhere, no one is doing anything.
I don’t want to see him die in this state. How to restore dignity?
I can't be in this environment. No one can, it’s incredibly unhealthy in so many ways.
Can I help get him help?
As for his children, I certainly can understand their attitude, why should they help him if he won't help himself?
If he can find drugs he can find a recovery plan, the ball is in his court.
I would walk away and go about the business of living your life, go no contact.
Have you seriously evaluated whether it's safe for you to continue a relationship? I realize that it's not easy to leave, or feel as if you've abandoned him, but would that really be the case?
If he doesn't listen to you, what role do you play in his life? Do you want to be involved in any legal or police action if/when he does become involved with the police?
And do you want any contact whatsoever with his suppliers, and/or whatever negatives they bring with them?
It's time to think of yourself; sadly, there's not much you can do for your friend, and it'll only drag you down to feel responsible for him.
Not sure how or if you should be involved with getting him the help he needs. Might start a $hit storm with his kids? Do you have contact with any of them? Or do you know who his doctor is and could make a call to their office to see how to get the ball rolling?