Taking care of husband for 4 years now by myself only worse now. He is now in wheelchair ,gets me up 3 to 4 times a night. This sounds bad but true he is either wet or BM or his meds. All day long wait on him on whatever he asks for. I dress him most of time, he is now on morphine for pain has a bad personality change now. When I get out its only to store or drug store ,if I go see my daughter in law and grandkids near by .he calls me at least 6 times for me to come home. Not one whole day off in a year and a half. He has diabetes all of his blood vessels shutting down. Had hip surg, heart surg, neck surg, strokes. Its been a tough road. He has older children 3 and we have one together. They are all older and married but they do not call him or me to see how he is or what's going on. I cannot go on like this need help so bad, I sprained my hip two months ago and still had to take care of him had no choice. Any ideas for me, I welcome them ~Thanks so much~
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Marcy, tell us what is keeping you from placing your husband. He will be in less pain, cared for by three shifts of nurses and CNAs and you can visit as a wife and advocate, everyday if you want to. It's win/win, as I see it. But there may be more to the story, so tell us.
I care for my husband 365, 24/7 as well and I get 15 hours off each week but if I don need to run errands I stay and feed him or bathe and dress him. Being a caregiver is very hard on the person taking care of someone else.
This is my second, (first my mother and now my husband) time around and what I learned to do was to reflect back on the better times. With my husband, it gives me nothing but pure joy caring for him. For me, that is the easy part. It is only when I have to try to obtain what he needs from the agencies like the VA. Or when he has to go into the hospital and he is treated like he is the problem all the while utilizing three insurances to pay the bill.
So I have notes all around our home that tells me it is ok to cry, be upset, be angry, to laugh, I love you etc., but it helps. I met a young lady last evening who is only 31 years old, an only child and is already caring for her parents.
Imagine, what this young woman must be going through. We were talking about emotions and we both said it t the same time: maybe "others" should have emotions. We both laughed.
It can be overwhelming and you sound like you need some time for you. Please check into the county services to see if you can get you some well deserved time for your self!!
Take care of your self!!:)
Have you tried contacting his children and asking them for help?
Best of luck to you.
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