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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My 94yr old father-in law lives in his own home with his daughter. She works but refuses to allow an in home caregiver. She is mentally abusive to him and has shut down and not helping him at all. I tried to intervene to get him help. Dad told is right in front of her that he would like to hire someone to come in during the day while she is at work to help him with daily living. She said" Thats NOT going to happen. This is my home too and I dont want anyone in here". I explained to her that it is his home and money and he should be allowed to hire help if he wants. He wanted this and so I set up a few appointments to talk with professional caregivers but she has now told me to cancel the appointments because he no longer wants in home care. She has said that she has "changed her ways" and will now help him bathe, etc. I feel she has brainwashed him into thinking his situation will improve. I'd like to believe she will but I have serious doubts. Is there any way I can get him help if she wont allow it?
#1 When you contact APS, make it clear that this is a concern about the vulnerable elder's living situation and not a report or allegation of abuse. What your father needs is an assessment with some ongoing monitoring of his situation. If your SIL *does* get her act together (and for a start she wants to rethink her attitude to professional support, but don't you fight that battle with her, let the qualified social workers do it) then he gets to stay home and she will have fewer regrets about his latter years. This could be a breakthrough.
#2 You'll have to see how you feel about this, but as far as possible be open with her. Have you ever got on with her all right, or has it always been a ticklish relationship between you?
Countrymouse, We get on OK. I can see through her BS though. She is cluless and I have tried to suggest things but she is always resistant. I'm giving her about a month to see if things change. If they don't, I will notify APS.
Naturganic, who is Dad's Power of Attorney? Hopefully not the daughter who is living with him.
If someone else is POA, especially whomever is the medical POA, that person needs to step up as the live-in daughter is not doing what is in her Dad's best interest. The Dad sounds like he has lot of common sense and realizes that he needs a professional caregiver with him during the day. My Dad was the same way, and that made life so much easier.
I agree with you, I bet sister-in-law is just talking up a good story. People usually don't change their ways. Is she planning on quitting her job to take care of Dad during the day? If no, then she is forgetting the main issue here that he needs someone with him during that time frame.
I would contact APS and report elder abuse. She doesn't get to abuse him without consequences, you know it is happening and you are responsible to get her out of there and get him the care he needs.
I would keep the appointments and let her prove she has mended her wicked ways.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
#1 When you contact APS, make it clear that this is a concern about the vulnerable elder's living situation and not a report or allegation of abuse. What your father needs is an assessment with some ongoing monitoring of his situation. If your SIL *does* get her act together (and for a start she wants to rethink her attitude to professional support, but don't you fight that battle with her, let the qualified social workers do it) then he gets to stay home and she will have fewer regrets about his latter years. This could be a breakthrough.
#2 You'll have to see how you feel about this, but as far as possible be open with her. Have you ever got on with her all right, or has it always been a ticklish relationship between you?
We get on OK. I can see through her BS though. She is cluless and I have tried to suggest things but she is always resistant.
I'm giving her about a month to see if things change. If they don't, I will notify APS.
If someone else is POA, especially whomever is the medical POA, that person needs to step up as the live-in daughter is not doing what is in her Dad's best interest. The Dad sounds like he has lot of common sense and realizes that he needs a professional caregiver with him during the day. My Dad was the same way, and that made life so much easier.
I agree with you, I bet sister-in-law is just talking up a good story. People usually don't change their ways. Is she planning on quitting her job to take care of Dad during the day? If no, then she is forgetting the main issue here that he needs someone with him during that time frame.
I would keep the appointments and let her prove she has mended her wicked ways.