Any advice for trusting a home companion to come into my house for several hours a week?

Goldenrod, you don't have to justify your concerns to anyone. You have a right to be concerned these days as to whom you let in your home.

Movingup, you're being a jerk, plain and simple.

I took care of both my parents and they resided in FL, the land of scammers and taking advantage of the elderly. Just last week another paid caregiver in the same area they lived in was stealing money to the tune of $30K from the elder they were taking care of.

Guess what? They were through an agency and had no criminal record. As one poster said there are a lot of desperate people out there. They need money or have debt and see an elder with a healthy bank account, next thing you know they're writing checks to themselves.

One poster mentioned she was a nurse and did HHC, well that's a big difference in salary than what a CNA or paid caregiver is earning. It's pretty safe to say having a nurse come into your home isn't going to be a concern, they're professionals and have a lot to lose if they did do something wrong.

Not the same when you're bringing in a CNA who is getting $9 an hour from an agency.

In the area I used to live in with my parents it was a monthly occurrence where a paid caregiver(many times through an agency) was ripping off the elderly patient. I would imagine many of these elders were alone, but I do know of a case where family was checking in and there was still theft of money and property.

And the kicker was these thieves would get probation. And be court ordered to pay back the victim with a monthly stipend. Well when you steal $25K from an 80yr old and you're paying it back at $500 a month, guess who comes out ahead.

Pills are also a problem(at least they were in FL known as the Pill Mill state). Anytime I had a repairperson or the cable guy came in I made sure all the pill bottles were hidden.

Paranoid....NO....smart.... YES.

Goldenrod, please note that, and please don't take offense, but no one knew you were very trustworthy of people until your most recent post.... those of us on this forum can only go by what is originally posted and don't forget you had posted "am very afraid of theft and/or loss", thus we can only gain from that that you don't trust people.

What Movingup had posted was an excellent suggestion. I wish my parents would work that way with tradespeople who work at their home doing repairs. My parents would follow them throughout the house like vultures sitting in a tree. I on the other side of the coin have given my house key to the painter so he could come and go per his schedule, never had an ounce of problem. Other tradesmen I leave alone for the most part, checking every now and then to see how it is going or if they had any questions.

My sig other has a habit of leaving cash/bills on the kitchen table, so I will put that away knowing if someone was going to come to the house. I know it would make me uncomfortable if I went into a house and saw that on a table because one never knows what a client will complain about after the fact.

You can always buy a 'dummy' camera and signs for very reasonable (Home Depot, etc... call them first or you can do a word search and order online). Let them know you have a camera system in every room.

I have been working with the elderly for over 22 years. Most of the horror stories I have heard about caregivers are about the ones that come from agencies. I agree with the above comment that checking references is a much better approach than going through an agency. Get at least 3 references, preferably 5. Have conversations with their references and find out what their experiences have been. There are also people who are professional "care managers". Ask them if they know of any good caregivers. Good luck.

My advice is to get a respectable home health care service, they do background screening and are responsible for the care givers in you moms house. I am a home health care worker and I had to to fingerprinting, and background check.

Background checks are necessary, but are not a panacea. A hired caregiver with a clean record still might take an opportunity to steal. So, yes, lock everything up. Consider having mail delivered to a post office box where a family member can pick it up. It prevents an unethical caregiver from changing the address on bank statements and other financial documents, to cover up theft; e.g., stolen and forged checks. If you hire a caregiver, execute a written agreement that the caregiver will not accept gifts of any kind, including bequests in a will. Insist on it, with the agency. Remember, the caregiver will be with the elder several hours a day -- long enough for inappropriate attachments to develop, and undue influence to be applied. If the caregiver seems to get between you and your elder in any way -- for example, always managing to be present when you visit, possibly inhibiting conversation between you and your elder -- fire the caregiver at once.

I truly appreciate all the responses I have received from my question thus far. As I’m currently in the process of narrowing down a list of home health agencies that I’ve already contacted, I realize this can be a challenging and daunting task of selecting one, and ultimately the “right” person, who I hope and pray will meet my mother’s and my needs. Due to stories I’ve heard from other friends and family, I have very valid reasons and concerns for allowing someone to come into and remain in my home while I’m not here. I cannot possibly pack up or lock up everything; I do know that valuables such as money, checkbooks, paperwork, etc. needs to be put away. I’m fully aware of the importance of licensed and bonded, background checks, referrals, etc.

Movingup, I’d like you to know that I stopped working several years ago to care for my mother alone after she began to change cognitively following major surgery. I’m probably one of the most self-sacrificing, compassionate, loyal daughters you’d ever meet in your life. I have treated plumbers, electricians, painters, home improvement, gardening people, etc. with utmost respect and am a very kind, likeable person. All these years I’ve had very little help or assistance “doing it all.” My reason for coming to this forum was for some extra advice and tips, and I found yours to be quite heartless. To infer that I have a hostile attitude, or that I shouldn’t consider even volunteering to work with the elderly, are some of the cruelest things one could ever say to me. Please refrain from improperly and unfairly judging me, and please “move on.”

You have to treat people with a modicum of trust until they have shown themselves to be untrustworthy. Otherwise they become wary and suspicious of you. Workers, even if strangers, pick up on employers' attitudes quite fast; they are sentient, thinking creatures and know if you are paranoid and regard them as would-be thieves. Even dogs pick up on such attitudes. If you want to get the best out of a worker, you need to have the courage to trust them. Personally, I find trusting people works; the number of people who cheated me in the course of my small business operation was so small that it didn't matter compared to the benefits of getting the best out of the large majority of people who were trustworthy. Most people will be trustworthy if you treat them right. But if you treat them like criminals, you will draw the worse out of them. A relationship with a worker goes two ways. Some common sense and a little kindness goes a long way.
If you think this is "mean", then so be it. I stand by my words and my experience.

References, references, references, references, references, references.

Did I mention checking references?

Do not rely on an agency to do this for you. Many people fly under the radar when it comes to background checks.

Install a security camera system in your home, in every room.

Maybe you could find someone locally to "babysit", just like parents do. If you don't need around the clock skilled care, perhaps you could look for a high school or college kid that is looking to make a few extra bucks for a few hours each week. Sometimes high schools/colleges give credit to students for this type of work. Check with the guidance counselor at the high school.

Movingup, you are mean and nasty. I completely understand Goldenrod comment, been there myself Have heard some sad stories about missing items. He/She was just asking a question, not looking to be 'cut down'.

If you have such paranoid attitudes, it is no wonder that no one wants to come into your home at all or to work for you. It is as though being willing to do such work automatically puts the worker under suspicion. After all, if they are desperate enough to do care work, they must be on the verge of criminality, if not outright criminals. Don't complain that no one wants to do care work if you have such hostile, suspicious and paranoid attitudes. It is bad enough that the extremely elderly are constantly blaming every stranger in the house of stealing; at least, they have the excuse of dying brain cells. I didn't realize that their craziness was so contagious.

My mother is always complaining she can't get workmen to do anything for her. One reason is that she is so paranoid. There is plenty of work in town; the workmen don't need to work for someone who could easily accuse them of stealing.

I'd be very cautious about even doing volunteer work with the elderly with such attitudes floating around.
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If you have such paranoid attitudes, it is no wonder that no one wants to come into your home at all or to work for you. It is as though being willing to do such work automatically puts the worker under suspicion. After all, if they are desperate enough to do care work, they must be on the verge of criminality, if not outright criminals. Don't complain that no one wants to do care work if you have such hostile, suspicious and paranoid attitudes. It is bad enough that the extremely elderly are constantly blaming every stranger in the house of stealing; at least, they have the excuse of dying brain cells. I didn't realize that their craziness was so contagious.

My mother is always complaining she can't get workmen to do anything for her. One reason is that she is so paranoid. There is plenty of work in town; the workmen don't need to work for someone who could easily accuse them of stealing.

I'd be very cautious about even doing volunteer work with the elderly with such attitudes floating around.

If you have such paranoid attitudes, it is no wonder that no one wants to come into your home at all or to work for you. It is as though being willing to do such work automatically puts the worker under suspicion. After all, if they are desperate enough to do care work, they must be on the verge of criminality, if not outright criminals. Don't complain that no one wants to do care work if you have such hostile, suspicious and paranoid attitudes. It is bad enough that the extremely elderly are constantly blaming every stranger in the house of stealing; at least, they have the excuse of dying brain cells. I didn't realize that their craziness was so contagious.

My mother is always complaining she can't get workmen to do anything for her. One reason is that she is so paranoid. There is plenty of work in town; the workmen don't need to work for someone who could easily accuse them of stealing.

I'd be very cautious about even doing volunteer work with the elderly with such attitudes floating around.
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Each of the agencies has a bond (find one that does), lock up all monies and expensive jewelry and you probably will be just fine. Most caregiver agencies run a background check on people who will come into your home to care for your loved ones, and as a nurse I was a home health provider. If you are that concerned, install nanny cams and you will definitely know what is going on.

Good advice, Lizann. Keep temptations at bay & focus on the quality of care.

I used mainly agency people (home health aides) and people I knew very well. However, the best thing you can do is put valuables, money and banking information under lock and key. Don't have such things sitting out for the taking or information for identity theft.
Otherwise focus on the care of the elder, are they taking proper care of them?

Good luck.

I think background checks are s good idea; however, there is a flip side. I got into a financial mess after a divorce and had a terrible credit report. I applied for a caregiver position through an agency & was turned down because I look bad on paper. Didn't matter that I had excellent references from previous jobs of that nature when I was self-employed. I am not a thief & am guided by a strong moral compass. People with bad credit get turned down for jobs, pay more for auto insurance, have difficulty getting a checking account, etc. due to bad credit. Moral of the story is things are not always what they seem. Some of us cannot help what happened financially & just because someone needs money it does not necessarily make them a potential thief. We need to use caution & common sense when stereotyping people.

There are too many desperate people out there nowadays. They would steal from you in a second. I would never let a stranger into my home when I was not there to oversee things. Being a 24/7 caregiver is the price we have to pay. Caregiving is our hell on earth that most everyone will have to endure before our loved one dies. I live the hell every day. I want to add the about letting anyone into your home "unattended".......that goes for anyone, such as repairmen, plumbers, cleaning people......I don't trust any of them. They could all be thieves......beware!

Okay.. First things first, you are paying them. You should get what you are paying for. Let them know that you keep a very close watch on the house and your elder. Visit the house every two days.. Get some alone time with the elder once in a week to discuss how things are going and if they are comfortable. You can also have cameras put up in your house. That way the home companion wont have the guts to steal from the house or abuse your elder. Dont lock your things up, you shouldnt have to. You are the owner of the house. No one has the right to touch your things. Let them know that, make it clear. If your elder complains about anything, be firm about it. Let the home companion know that your elder matters to you and youre not one to take bull from people you are paying. But dont. Be too harsh on them either. If they arent happy, they wont do their job properly and its the elder who will be suffering.

two years ago I was admitted to the hospital through the ER, leaving my husband (dementia patient) and my pets at home. I had never faced the problem of their care before, so decided to go with a recommended care agency in my area. They provided 24 hour care (their evaluation requirement) and sent 4 or 5 different employees into my home for different shifts. I was uncomfortable with the variety of employees but they would not commit to using the same ones...except for the night person who seemed to be consistently used. My husband did not like him, and told me that his wallet was missing. That turned out to be true and the employee left my husband alone and went shopping with my husband's credit card during those night hours. This was documented by video at various stores. The caretaker also stole my grandmother's diamond ring and my grandfather's pocket watch among other things, but that was unprovable....needless to say, I had to cut short my stay in rehab to come home and sort things out. I was never offered any compensation by the agency and paid them $6,000 for their services. So much for using an agency that does background checks. This man had a record in NYC which the agency never picked up on...his name and picture are in the newspaper again for stealing from Wal-Mart.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There are a variety of types of investigative searches that can be used by potential employers. Many commercial sites will offer specific searches to employers for a fee. Services like these will actually perform the checks, supply the company with adverse action letters, and ensure compliance throughout the process.

It is important to be selective about which pre-employment screening agency one uses. A legitimate company will be happy to explain the process. Many employers choose to search the most common records such as criminal records, driving records, and education verification. Other searches such as sex offender registry, credential verification, skills assessment, reference checks, credit reports and Patriot Act searches are becoming increasingly common. Employers should consider the position in question when determining which types of searches to include, and should always use the same searches for every applicant being considered for one.
Possible information included

The amount of information included on a background check depends to a large degree on the sensitivity of the reason for which it is conducted—e.g., somebody seeking employment at a minimum wage job would be subject to far fewer requirements than somebody applying to work for a law enforcement agency such as the FBI or jobs related to national security.

Criminal, arrest, incarceration, and sex offender records

There are several types of criminal record searches available to employers, some more accurate and up to date than others. These "third party" background checking agencies cannot guarantee the accuracy of their information, thus many of them have incomplete records or inaccurate records. The only way to conduct an accurate background check is to go directly through the state. Most times using the state of choice is much cheaper than using a "third party" agency. Many websites offer the "instant" background check, which will search a compilation of databases containing public information for a fee. These "instant" searches originate from a variety of sources, from statewide court and corrections records to law enforcement records which usually stem from county or metro law enforcement offices. There are also other database-type criminal searches, such as statewide repositories and the national crime file. A commonly used criminal search by employers who outsource is the county criminal search.
Citizenship, immigration, or legal working status

The hiring of undocumented workers has become an issue for American businesses since the forming of the Department of Homeland Security and its Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) division. Many history making immigration raids[12] over the past two years have forced employers to consider including legal working status as part of their background screening process. All employers are required to keep government Form I-9 documents on all employees and some states mandate the use of the federal E-Verify program to research the working status of Social Security numbers. With increased concern for right-to-work issues, many outsourcing companies are sprouting in the marketplace to help automate and store Form I-9 documentation. Some jobs are only available to citizens who are residents of that country due to security concerns.

Litigation records
Employers may want to identify potential employees who routinely file discrimination lawsuits. It has also been alleged that in the U.S., employers that do work for the government do not like to hire whistleblowers who have a history of filing qui tam suits.

Driving and vehicle records
Employers that routinely hire drivers or are in the transportation sector seek drivers with clean driving records—i.e., those without a history of accidents or traffic tickets. Department of Motor Vehicles and Department of Transportation records are searched to determine a qualified driver.

Drug tests
Drug tests are used for a variety of reasons—corporate ethics, measuring potential employee performance, and keeping workers' compensation premiums down.

Education records
These are used primarily to see if the potential employee had graduated from high school (or a GED) or received a college degree, graduate degree, or some other accredited university degree. There are reports of SAT scores being requested by employers as well.

Employment records
These usually range from simple verbal confirmations of past employment and timeframe to deeper, such as discussions about performance, activities and accomplishments, and relations with others.

Financial information
Credit history, liens, civil judgments, bankruptcy, and tax information may be included in the report.

Licensing records
A government authority that has some oversight over professional conduct of its licensees will also maintain records regarding the licensee, such as personal information, education, complaints, investigations, and disciplinary actions.
Medical, Mental, and Physiological evaluation and records

These records are generally not available to consumer reporting agencies, background screening firms, or any other investigators without documented, written consent of the applicant, consumer or employee.

Military records
Although not as common today as it was in the past fifty years, employers frequently requested the specifics of one's military discharge.

Polygraph testing
Those seeking employment in the government relating in a field of national security, law enforcement, or other field of safety or security may look into a persons background not disclosed in applications. Those who fail a polygraph test may not be selected. In the United State laws regarding the use are under the Employee Polygraph Protection Act.

Social Security Number
(or equivalent outside the US). A fraudulent SSN may be indicative of identity theft, insufficient citizenship, or concealment of a "past life". Background screening firms usually perform a Social Security trace to determine where the applicant or employee has lived.

Other interpersonal interviews
Employers may investigate past employment to verify position and salary information. More intensive checks can involve interviews with anybody that knew or previously knew the applicant—such as teachers, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and family members; however, extensive hearsay investigations in background checks can expose companies to lawsuits. Past employment and personal reference verifications are moving toward standardization with most companies in order to avoid expensive litigation.

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IMCO hire through known agencies, ask how they vet employees, Are employees employed by the agency? Ask for specific details about insurance

A reliable agency background checks all employees.

In addition to the camera and locking up the valuables that you can lock up. Hire only from a reliable agency.

I agree that you should go through an agency where the employees have had background checks and are bonded and insured.

Good comments above. You never know about people. If you install a camera, you probably would be the most safe. However, if not, I would make sure you don't leave any mail out or check books. People can sneak a check out of order and you may not notice one is missing until you catch it on your statement or the bank calls you with a questionable check someone has passed.

Also, people can get social security numbers off of various documents and steal your identification and use it to get their own credit cards.So, I'd lock up all documents and mail.

I, too, had concerns just in general. I don't have antiques or anything of real value, but just the thought of strangers in my house kind of unnerved me. First make sure you use a professional agency that the employees are bonded and insured. Second, see if you can have someone come by when you are there and get to know them. Third, see if you can get the same person each time. Gradually, I was so happy to see the aide that I wasn't worried about my stuff. However, like others have said, if you are worried about specific items, just move them to a room where you can put a lock on the door. Easy to change the doorknob to one that locks. I guess you could also install a camera system so that you could keep an eye on things.

I have antiques around my home, too, but unless whomever comes into the house is completely knowledgably about antiques, they wouldn't know a quality antique from old junk. Just don't keep jewelry, stocks, bonds, cash laying around the house.... that would make anyone who comes into your house to work feel uneasy to see that stuff out in the open.

It is so sad that there is this stereotype that caregivers or any type of tradesperson or workers are going to steal :(

Lock up all the goodies that someone can grab-and-run.