Trying to deal with Narcissistic Mother recently diagnosed with CLL who doesn’t want to know anything about her condition. Advice?

My Granny was diagnosed with CLL in her 70's, she was told she had about 10 years to live and she lived 12. Only in the last year or so did she have any treatment, she had several blood transfusions.

She lived independently until a few weeks prior to her death. She lived alone and only in the last few weeks she needed home support, a commode etc.

Have you looked into hospice? What about Respite care?

She is not taking any treatment? Can you tell me her age? She is simply in denial, or knows and doesn't want to discuss or treat? If there is no dementia then you are really powerless to do anything but let your Mom be in charge of this. It is going to have to be your choice if you want to move your life to be with her. I would not. To me it enables her behavior. I would give her the numbers to call if she requires care, the 911 she will know to call in emergency, and supply her with what shop at home services you can. Then move to your own life. Let her know if she chooses to move where she can get more care you will come to assist her in finding placement. Not certain what options you are considering or what her prognosis is. She could live many years with this, or she may not; every case is individual. Would it be an option for her to move near you, to a studio in your area?
Hope you will update us.

CLL=Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia

Your mom can't really be left alone anymore with a chronic condition such as CLL. Her exhaustion levels are likely to worsen as the cancer progresses, and treatment will probably be necessary as well.

"She" doesn't really need to know all the details of her illness, however, YOU do. Have a consultation with her doctor to see what s/he recommends as far as treatments, daily care, etc. She may need to go into a Skilled Nursing Facility or else have caregivers come into the home every day.

Learn all you can about her condition and consult with her doctors as well, that's what I'd do.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.

CLL?

Negativity and complaining are soooo draining. Gives you burnout in a minute!

OK, she can't be left alone yet you need and deserve time away from being a caregiver. The options include things like:
hiring an aide a few hours a day to give you a break
hiring aides for longer hours
putting her in a facility for X weeks for respite care
putting her in a facility full time

What would be best for you and what level of care does she need? It is likely she will be resistant to anything you suggest so you really need to decide what you are and are not willing and able to do.

Good luck.