I needed a kidney transplant in 2009 and ask him if he would get tested to see if he was compatible. He said no problem because"I was his Superman" because I raise him as a single parent. That's the last time I spoke to him. The VA found me a doner in 2011 and I have been in good health since. I got full custody when he was 6 yrs old because of his mother drug addiction. His mother got sober later and he wanted to stay with her when he turn 15 yrs old. I was beginning to have problems with him when she got visitation like skipping school and experiment with marijuana. He did graduate from high school late and we did have a relationship afterwards until I ask him to ask him for the kidney. I think he's carrying the guilt around from not helping me in need.
Hope you can get the lines of communication back open again soon! 😊
I donated a kidney to my son, it's not an easy thing to do. I know it wasn't an easy thing for you to ask of your son.
So many donors drop out during the approval process. Back in the days when I donated I was told that if I wanted to drop out at any time, they would tell the recipient that I hadn't qualified for a medical reason.
I'm glad your kidney is doing well, and yes, its time to heal your son's wound.
A simple letter "Dear son,
I hope you will come and visit, and as I said I am happy to pay yours and your GF's ticket here.
Do let me know if you can make it. I had hoped to hear from you before this, but have not. I am hoping that you do not carry with you any unhappy feelings about being unable so long ago to get tested. I had a donor come forward and the surgery went well; I am feeling well. It is understandable not to want to give up an organ, and I would worry, myself, to have to do so."
Just something to that affect.
If that doesn't work then I guess you will know that there is something ELSE wrong here. You can only ask what it might be, and what you might do to heal it.
After that there is really little you can do.
I hope your son will decide to come visit, and that it will go very happily for you all.
Your son, donating a kidney is a big deal. Maybe write him and say that if the problem is the kidney you understand. You just would love to see him.