One brother tried to get his dad out of the nursing home. And the other brother isn't really the dads bio son and found out and the dad knows but doesn't care he loved his wife and then there's another daughter... who isn't involved but is.... so both brothers disagree.... I WAS going to be a care giver but my kids told me they were raped by their cousin another child for all their life..... they didn't know were all undiagnosed autistic Indiana fails... anyways I was dealing with this and on top my own child hood trauma came running back in ptsd and I was still giving up my life caregive for this man because no human with someone willing should die in a nursing home.... not one of my grandparents died in one. This man is amazing and an awesome grandpa and father hes an amazing soul and he loves his family and home. He just wants to die in his bed. But because of the un bio son he's going to die in a nursing home because hes a rich ass who cares only about himself. He's not my biological grandpa... but he's family how do I help. My husband and his dad won't ask his sister for help and she's a lawyer... it's his daughter and they think money matters... she's family she doesn't care about money she loves her dad too.... idk but I need help please I do not want him dying alone and unhappy because of freaking pathetic sons 😔. Humanity has got to f*****g better.... please help me save someone from dying alone.... I'm affriad of death and I was willing to learn to help him to be happy and be there with his last breath because that is a gift.... I do not care about money people matter... memories matter humans matter stuff doesn't matter the world matters .... help me 🙏
Breathe & pull yourself together. People get old. People die. This is life. Sometimes they die in their bed, so? Most don't. A person can slip peacefully away wherever they are - or die suddenly or painfully wherever they are too. You don't need to be the hero to arrange a Hollywood dying scene. It is enough you care & can tell him so if you wish.
Uncle died at 99. They took good care of him.
Is Grandpa still of sound mind, if you know?
Ditch the drama and start looking at the situation realistically.
Good luck to you.
COVID has been an eye opener.
Is one of the brothers your Uncle and the other, who found out he was not the man's son, your father? What does the sister being a lawyer have to do with things, do you feel she can help get her father discharged? Maybe this comes down to majority rules. If granddad is on your fathers birthcertificate, then by law granddad is his father and I assumed he raised ur Dad so he is the only father your Dad knows.
The family has to show that there will be appropriate care to discharge granddad. Otherwise its an "unsafe discharge". The home he would be released too has to meet his needs. Handicapped accessible for one. A hospital bed supplied. Round the clock care 24/7. The ability to hire aides. Are you still raising kids? If so, how can you care for them properly and a sick man.
Then there is who has POA? If none, are u sure the State has not taken over Granddads care? That means Granddads kids gave no say.
Me, I would not do the caring in ur situation.
Exactly. You have a lot of trauma from your past that you need to start addressing. Have you done anything to do that?
You aren't a blood relative to this grandfather. Let his biological children deal with it. I don't understand why you are so invested.
If you wish to help, I would recommend looking into finding a suitable facility for him to be cared for 24/7. Then you can visit him and be his advocate.
Best wishes to you. Take care.
Caring for a dying person at home is not easy unless you’re trained for the work. He will be cared for by professionals in a nursing home or hospice facility. His wishes at this time may not be attainable and he has no idea what he’d be wishing on you (which could be miserable for everyone in your household).
As for the family’s history, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. You have many issues to address. You could start by letting this situation with your grandfather go.