My brothers and I are his only family and we all live very far away. Our uncle lives in a condo. Neighbors report that repeatedly he is leaving stove gas on, and sleeping in his car in the shared garage with motor running.
They are giving us the task of finding him assisted living or they will have their condo association lawyer involved. They are worried that the multi unit condo building could go up in flames if gas is left on and leaking through units. He is literally the most stubborn person on earth and we don’t know how we can get him to move to assisted living. We definitely can and will help him do it, but he is not WILLING. HELP PLEASE!!
Gas in the home & leaving the car engine on? Do you suspect he could be suicidal at all? He may need to be forcibly taken for health eval (is the US term Baker Acted?).
That doesn't stop him leaving the cooker burning, of course, which is far from safe; but it does mean there won't be a bombe surprise awaiting the condo's residents.
Like Beattie, I'm more concerned about this story that he is "sleeping" in his car with the motor running. Do the neighbours mean they found him in that situation and that was what he told them?
Stop telling him what to do. Ask him to talk to you about how he's feeling about life generally, and what he would like to do.
Meanwhile the other residents should start putting in calls to APS. One call per neighbour every time they observe a significant incident. Have they previously got on with him okay? How long has he lived there?
I would do as Cali suggests and make a call to APS. At least it’s a start by having documentation of his condition.
You might even want to tell the neighbors about the phone call in case they would like to inform APS further with a first hand account of what is happening.
Let them know you and your brother are willing to help your uncle as soon as he asks for help but you can't and won't accept the "task" they are giving you.
Im 29 and feel asleep in my car for 2 hours after work last week. I parked, thought to sit for a moment and listen to a song that was on and boom it was 2 hours later.
And the neighbors "threatening" lawyers...why doesn't the woman read the associations contract he signed. And call her own lawyer
And if the neighbors are so sure ,where is the evidence, and why don't they have a lawyers letter?
And so many comments recommending police ..Police means you can't handle your own problems. And police officers have 9months training.
So call the police to ' force' this gentleman to do something he doesn't want to do?
And they want him in a psychiatric unit to be 'assessed'..for what
At 92 if he didn't have a few 'dings in the framework' i would be very surprised.
So many people with hard cold hearts.
I hope the woman has a little compassion and gets these minor problems sorted out for her uncle
And he gets to keep his freedom
"Caged bird doesn't sing"
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sunshinelife, you are 29 years old and talk about "patients." Are you a doctor? A nurse? You don't appear to be a caregiver. Or are you?
There are many caregivers here who have placed their LOs in facilities, including me. My mother went from "independent" living in her condo to a 17-day hospitalization (gallbladder infection) to a SNF for rehab, and then she remained there after rehab was done. Did she want that? Of course not. Was she still deemed competent? Yes (since legal competence has such a low bar). Was I going to give up my life to move in with her, including care of her gallbladder drain? Of course not.
Don't lecture people about how bad facilities are. As people are kept alive by modern medicine and live to be older, it is not right that their relatives (usually in their 50's, 60's or even 70's) should be expected to take care of them.
Thistledown3's uncle is clearly a danger to himself and others, and APS/police should be called. What he wants is no longer relevant.
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