My mother has been living with me since 2013 or 2014. She has Multiple Scelerosis. I have been her caregiver for all this time. Last week at a doctor's appointment she told me her friend has covid and I told that she doesn't need to go back her friends apartment because she has covid. A day later she sneaks back over her friends house, because I caught her. I told her she doesn't care if me and daughter gets sick. Fast forward a day later her "friend" confronts me about why I came to her house "arguing with my mother" later that day I ended up being physically assaulted by her "friend's" relative. I had to call the police. No only did these people physically assault me, but some made claims I abuse my mother and none of that is true. I told my mother she has to get out my house she can no longer live with me. How can I get placed immediately like with a week in a nursing home? How long does it usually take? Thanks.
Your ‘legal’ way to go may involve formal notice and legal action to evict her. Where she goes then is up to her. Your informal way to go could be to pack her stuff safely where she is able to collect it, then take her and a suitcase to a hotel (or her friend’s house?). This may work, or it may lead to more complications. It will certainly make your wishes very clear!
This blow-up has been very unpleasant for you, that’s clear. Either you have a very quick temper, or it came at the end of a long line of things not going well. Think about what you really want for the long term. Would you prefer to get back to a reasonable relationship with your mother, wherever she lives, or do you never want anything to do with her ever again? If you want a reasonable relationship, try for a way to keep things cool while you sort out what to do. Perhaps you go to the hotel yourself, even though it’s not all your fault!
Your wish is to quit this shared living arrangement as quickly as you can, and you can certainly make this clear immediately. Quitting may take another couple of months.
Seems she can get around on her own if she snuck back to friends. Having MS she herself should have stayed away from this friend. Your Mom may not fit the criteria for a NH with Medicaid paying. She needs to be 24/7 care. Maybe her friend will allow her to stay with them.
I have a feeling a lot has led up to this confrontation. Its like the straw that broke the camels back. This is not a first time problem with Mom. Let her friend call APS and allow them to investigate. You telling them you no longer want Mom living with you and tgey need to find her a place.
First, if you are not her DPoA or legal guardian and she has all her mind you have no power to put her into a nursing home.
To legally force your mother to move out you will need to go through a legal eviction process. It's slightly different in each state/county so you'll need to contact your district court to find out what that process is. Usually you fill out a form and pay a fee (which in my state is $350). Then, you post the eviction notice on the door to her room or wherever that the form says to post it. At the end of the 30 days if she still doesn't leave voluntarily or makes a scene you can call the police and they can escort her off the property. If she hasn't made any plans to move somewhere else, she may be camped out on your sidewalk. But that's her problem. Maybe she can go live with her friend... Once she's out then change the locks to your residence.
Is she currently on any county assistance? You can "help" get her out by contacting social services to see what her options are. She's probably already on SSDI? Or Medicaid? Or contact your local area's Agency on Aging. Depending on where you live there may be a waiting list to get into a facility on Medicaid. But again, she still has to be willing to go.
if no $, then she would have to file for LTC Medicaid and be “at need” medically and financially eligible for a skilled nursing care facility aka a NH. It takes 3-6 months for the application to process while they are in the NH as Medicaid Pending resident. If she’s going out and visiting folks, even with MS, and she’s still able to do for herself, she won’t be medically at need. Medicaid is really narrow on eligibility.
you might want to look into low income housing for her. Like a 202 programs. Contact your Area on Aging as they should have info on NH and low income housing in your region.