Hello- my first question here. I will be caring in my home for my 90 year old MIL who has dementia. She's in reasonably good shape physically for her age- she does walk with a walker though because of balance issues. She's in memory care right now, but has to leave because they feel they can't help her any further there. It's the nursing home or my home, so I want to try and see if I can care for her here. She's not a difficult person but has trouble following directions, and I know she's going to need assistance with cleaning herself. Am I correct in thinking that a walk-in tub would be easier for both of us rather than a walk-in shower? In a shower situation- (of course she would have a shower chair) it seems I would have to actually get in there to assist her, which seems messy and uncomfortable. Any insights are welcome. I'll be having a new bathroom put in just for her, so of course I'd like to get it all right. Cost is not really an object. TIA :)
Putting in a walk in tub is very expensive. We had a walk in shower. Mom used a shower bench. I installed a handheld shower head. I kept the room warm with small heater. I would wet her down and turn off the shower. Then soap her down and rinse. Have a towel nearby and dress her as much as I could. Bathroom was small. I eventually placed Mom in an AL and eventually LTC. At 68 I could not do the showering and the toileting. And the accidents. One being a "blow out" that took 3 hrs of cleaning up. The bathroom first because she needed a shower. I had a small table outside her bathroom door. I caught her using it as the toilet.
I hope your husband is going to be helping in her care. You will have sleepless nights because she is roaming or trying to get out of the house. Just as you sit down, she will want something. Its like having a toddler again.
I do suggest that you try a commode over the toilet. There are splash guards that take the place of the bucket. This will give MIL the arms and legs for stability.
Good Luck if you go ahead with this. If you find that her care is beyond you, please don't feel guilty. I personally could not do it because of the unpredictability. I like knowing what comes next. I like organization. Don't do well when a ball in thrown into the mix.
I am reaching a point where we must start looking at some bigger stronger more competent help for me with my DH at home. I had wanted to keep him here for the duration. It is slowly, but surely, dawning on me that this is probably not a good idea.
In saying all that, Silvie, I did have the big whirlpool bath taken out and replaced with a ceramic shower with a bench. The shower itself is great, the shower-ee is the problem! As you said, if the MC can't do it, how can a person alone do it? Will your DH help in the bathroom with a naked mom?
Think this over, and I also think you are an extraordinary princess for even wanting to do this, your MIL is a very lucky woman, and you DH also. Best of luck and God Bless.
I will forever regret not going to greater lengths to keep my parents in their home a little longer.
Don't forget lots of properly anchored grab bars. And don't let anyone talk you into a shower unit with a built in bench, they are not adequate for accessibility.
Oh... for safety and accessibility plan for a curtain not an enclosure
As for the how to - try searching shower assistance for elderly on YouTube for videos
My reasoning:
there may come a point where she needs a wheelchair
she will likely need assistance doing the actual washing, and soaping up and rinsing off someone will be easier in a shower than reaching down into a tub, especially one of the high walled walk in tubs
once urinary and fecal incontinence become a problem it will be more hygienic to rinse off in a shower that to sit in a bath
Since you are renovating I'd also plan for a bidet sprayer or bidet toilet seat as well to help with toileting
Imagine the walk-in bathtub filled with water and the patient poops in it. Not firm poop that stays together due to roughage and fiber in the diet. No, runny poop like a baby. The bathtub water turns yellow and the dissolved poop is all over her body. YUCK!
In the shower the poop goes to the floor and the patient remains clean.
My dad would poop in the shower all the time (he was incontinent). A bathtub would have been disgusting.
I purchased a Carousel Sliding Transfer Bench with Swivel Seat by Platinum Health, plus with a 32-inch Horizontal Extended Rails. Also, have safety rails on all three sides of the bathtub.
Turn on the bathroom ceiling heater. If you don’t have a ceiling heater use a plug in heater in a safe location.
Wheelchair her into the bathroom. She transfer to the sliding seat on the outside of the tub. Once in the seat, I slide her into the center of the tub.
Control the hand-held shower water stream to low and soft to avoid frightening her. Also, with the control hand-held shower I control the direction the water flows. Use the shower curtains for front and for back to avoid getting drenched.
She uses the safety rails to raise herself so the most odor parts get washed. The ceiling heat keeps the room warm, no problem.
With the ceiling heat on, I sweat, but that’s okay, the job gets done.
As you're having a whole new bathroom put in I can give you my personal wish list!
GOOD HEATING. A decent sized towel rail that also gets the room properly warm. Put it on the wall away from the shower so it doesn't get wet, but within reach so you don't need three hands or extendable arms to grab a towel when she gets shampoo in her eyes.
Non-slip flooring which must be easy to clean and dry and pleasant under foot - there are plenty on the market, but consider how you're going to maintain it and also how it will feel on her toes when they're bare and wet.
Looking at the shower wall - somewhere to put soap, shampoo, brushes and sponge when in use, such as a built in ledge. No grouting or tiling, avoid anything that can gather sludge, hair or mould.
Other walls - shelf storage and a bin. Otherwise the basin and shower will soon be cluttered with denture pots, toiletries, creams, boxes and goodness knows what, and plastic bottles are much more breakable when they drop on the floor than you'd think.
Good lighting. You need to be able to check skin integrity without having to bend down and peer at bits of her.
Good ventilation. Especially if either of you wears glasses.
Give serious thought to a bidet function on the toilet. Worth every penny both in terms of labour-saving and quality of outcome - they wash and dry a person's undercarriage really well without her getting upset or anyone else having to lift a finger (except to press Start).
No sharp corners. On *anything.*
No designer gadgets. A mixer tap (faucet, I mean, do I?) on the handbasin is a good idea but avoid space-age aesthetics or hidden controls. Hot should say Hot, Cold should say Cold, you shouldn't need a master's degree to let the water out.
Please make sure the handbasin is tall and deep enough to get a bedpan and/or the bucket from a commode under the tap (unless you have a separate sluice somewhere, not many family houses have) - not for emptying, obviously, but for 3 x filling to rinse, disinfecting, 1 x filling to remove disinfectant. The contents go down the lavatory pan, of course, but if you can't get the pan or bucket under the tap to fill it it's extremely irritating. I get very sick of dainty little dolly's handbasins that some numpty designer thinks anyone can actually wash anything at.
As MIL is currently able to stand and walk with support, it would be good to encourage that by having grab rails so that she can engage fully in showering herself and stand safely - but you are now in the realms of OT assessment and recommendations. Which it would be sensible to get anyway.
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