I've been away from AC for a few months - things started going downhill, and I needed a beak. Now I could really use some advice (and TLV) from my fellow caregivers.
My MIL has suffered significant cognitive decline just over the last couple of months...hallucinating more, becoming confused/mildly agitated at times. She is currently taking Quetiapine (dose recently increased from 12.5 mg to 25 mg...or even 36.5 if needed..my discretion). Last night out of the blue she mentioned that she'd like to go visit "daddy" in the hospital but she wasn't sure if "they'd" let her. I just told,her we would look into it, gave her the Quetiapine, tucked her into bed and hoped by this morning all would be forgotten. No such luck. She's still asking and becoming more concerned because "no one will tell" her what hospital he's in or how he got there. I keep trying to put her off, so to speak..Saying things like "we'll find out" and then trying to redirect, but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm running out of ideas! *SIGH* This part of my job is so sad and so HARD! Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
Me, I go for the stress reducing laugh first, but I am sending prayers (tlc) your way. Best of luck through this tough stage. ((((((yaya)))))
In any case, she doesn't realize he's passed away, so she really is in a different reality, which is why I gave my example from the other caregiver.
Normally, even with some dementia, I never lie to my mother. But when my grandma was deep into her Alzheimer's, she felt so badly and became so agitated, that we did start to lie to sooth her.
I read something recently by another caregiver who was caring for his Dad who had delusions and the caregiver realized that the dad's delusions were a totally different reality. So, the son (caregiver) decided to go along with that alternate reality. It made Dad happy and wasn't a huge effort for the son.
Is the Quetiapine helping? If it is, don't be afraid to use that extra half pill -- that is a very small dose. My husband (DLB) was on 100 mg taken once a day, at night. It helped a lot!