My daughter has an elderly friend in South Carolina who's brother is quite ill and the VA sent him home from the hospital to live with her because they said there was no other place for him to go. She's had a pacemaker put in, has bad arthritis and shoulder pains, and can barely take care of herself. She's becoming very depressed and exhausted having him in the house and having to wait on him hand and foot.
He later recovered enough to leave King and go back to Georgia where he lived alone even though he had Dementia. My Dad applied several times for Aid and Attendance while living on his own and was denied. He continued to live alone until he fell and laid in his apartment for who knows how long before he was found. After that trip to the hospital he went to a nursing home. I was very upset when I saw the condition of his apartment. He had severe Dementia and was unable to care for his place or finances or himself.
A young couple had befriended him and emptied his bank account every month of his social security check for over a year. He was surrounded by filth and dog mess. Since I was out of state it was hard to keep track of what was going on. The VA was helpful when he was here in WI but not when in Georgia.
Always encourage people to use the local VA office to advocate for your loved one because the National office tends to be a giant cavern of lost paperwork. Copy all applications and paperwork sent to them in case it gets lost.
Any applications for service that are not acknowledged in 6-12 months should be followed up on. You may need to reapply if you have not had an answer
in 12 months or more.
Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease!!
It is helpful if your loved one is receiving VA medical benefits at the local VA hospital when you apply for services. Engage the Social Worker at the facility to assist when any applications.
Good Luck!
I find it hard to believe the VA told this individual there was no other place for him to go. I think that might be your friend's perception, and perhaps she misunderstood, or perhaps the brother was confused.
The VA in fact has 3 nursing homes in South Carolina:
If you can manage it, tour them for your friend and help her decide which one to accept, assuming one is close enough for her to visit.
On the Aging Care website are excellent articles. I found one section that deals with Veterans assistance.
https://www.agingcare.com/topics/138/veterans-benefits
Another suggestion, besides the VA, not sure how this works, where he could qualify for Medicaid, thus be placed into a continuing care facility if he is unable to care for himself.