My father's wife and her sons have taken him to an attorney where he signed all legal POAs and medical revoked/rewritten this while all knew that both Drs have advised he doesn't have ability to make financial or medical decisions. Additionally, same thing at the local bank.
We have a concern about his safety and medication management. She has taken his medications herself by accident and endangered him in multiple ways, so we are pursuing guardianship. I made so many trips and stayed over and witnessed this as well as others have been concerned and reporting things they have seen.
My family would like to know who has been through this personally and can help us know what to expect during the court proceedings? We have an attorney and we have so many examples showing how they both have been exploited. My father believes things that are not true as result of his delusions and what he has been told or not corrected and will become very aggitated at me! Unless, I am there and decelerate the moment and explain in his reality. Especially thinking his children have stolen his money, car or ransacked house, etc. This is a mess and I have been advised to pursue this but none of this had to happen if the family would have continued working with us for decisions that impacting someone that is still has highs and lows.
We are most concerned that his wife has not followed the Dr. recomendations and has medical problems which make her ability to care for him compromised. She gets lost while driving and even gave him her keys to go get them food Labor Day weekend. They were were told he could not drive earlier this summer.
Also, I would like to know who might help us with the difficulty to deal with making medical decisions on where he should live and how to help with the transition within the family. I have tried to help them stay together at their house by finding the previous in home careprovider. I am not certain that the in home care with his wife will be accomplished unless she will be agreeable to accept changes to increase safety in the home environment. She left the gas stove on several times and this was brought to her family's attention.
Now, I am concerned we need to have a certified non-biased company to provide medical management at high priority times and allow supervision for aggitiation and nighttime mobility. She has extreme hearing loss and takes sleeping pills.
Like Alva posted, getting guardianship when there is a wife is pretty sticky to do. Atty will have to cast doubt on her being competent and that all her kids themselves have issues that show undue or bad influence for their mom. Like atty does a deep dive on her & her kids credit history; if anyone has been arrested and if grandkids have any issues too. If there’s good amount of dirt out there, it won’t, I’ll bet a case of Prosecco, won’t ever be heard in court. There will be a informal, in-chambers kind of meeting to work things out.
Please realize You may not get guardianship.
What judge might do if it’s real contentious is to have an outside court appointed guardian appointed for your dads finances both to take care of his needs in a facility or inhome care and to deal with your dads wife’s finances to maintain her in her current standard of living.
Perhaps you or one if your siblings appointed for medical decisions.
I must warn you that in cases I have seen as a nurse where there is a wife, albeit a second wife, with whom the elder lives, and especially if they have devoted family and have POA, that it is very difficult for a Judge to go against all that. You tell us that you have good "evidence". That may make all the difference. This will be costly, and sometimes, in cases or contentious and bitter fights with first and second families, the state will assign guardianship to the state and have a fiduciary appointed. At that point everyone is helpless regarding placement and property choices.
I am only going to wish you good luck, encourage you to stay in close touch with your attorney and share everything you can think of with him or her. I hope you will update us if you are successful. Often here people ask about the cost of "fighting" family for guardianship. The estimates come in around 10,000. You can help others by letting them know how it goes for you in court, and what your costs are, so they can decide future actions on their elder's behalf.
Wishing you luck. This is a whole lot to deal with. I am hoping others will chime in here with personal experiences that might be similar.