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He was near death and now is so much better.

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Thank you for your responses.....so far so good with father in law....it's been about 10 days now with very few meds (comfort meds) he is still more alert and his appetite has increased and he asked to get out of bed for the first time in about 6 mos😊
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After two plus months in the hospital this summer, I learned quite a bit. Number one rule: either you or your loved ones must advocate for yourself with the doctors and nurses. Believe me, I know the challenge of advocating for yourself while trying to recover from major illness (and, in my case, amputation of both legs and fingers.) It is natural to want to trust everything they say or do; after all, your life is in their hands. However, doctors and nurses are people just like the rest of us, and they don't necessarily keep up with health issues like they should. If something isn't working, let your doctors and nurses know. If they don't change things, find a different doctor, or nursing home, or SNF.
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k12144 Sep 2018
This is absolutely correct. The only person who is truly out for your best interests is you. Even if healthcare professionals really want to help... they don't know you and your preferences and "normal" as intimately as you and your family/friends do. They don't have the time to devote to just you. They can't be as motivated to do what's best for you as you are (for obvious reasons). They simply cannot care for you as well as you or your close family/friends could, no matter how much they may want to. They are the medical expert, but you are the "you" expert. They need your help, and they should listen to you even if it turns out you're wrong. (I feel like a few times when I told doctors about my mom, "No, don't ignore this, it is *not normal* for her, you need to find out what's wrong" they didn't listen and they should have.)

They can mess up, they can be shortsighted, they can be simply unknowledgeable about all the close and intimate details of you. I mean, one time my mom was in the ER and as we were waiting for transport back to her NH, a tech came in and said he had to draw blood. I asked why... he said he didn't know, just that he had an order from the docs. I pointed out to him that we were just waiting for transport, and then he realized that he was there for the other patient in the room, not my mom. She would've had some unnecessary needle sticks had I not asked and insisted.
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We had neighbors whose doctor told them to bring everything in a bag that they took, and then he threw about 90 percent of medicines out. They lived another ten years after that. Had relative kicked out of hospice because she got so much better after going off some BP meds. Finally, about two years later, she was readmitted and passed away about three months ago. Finding a doctor who is conservative about prescribing is really important. My dad has stopped everything but one BP medicine. No longer falling as often.
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KayVee Sep 2018
It is very difficult to find a "conservative" Dr these days as, it seems like, everyone is getting kickbacks from Big Pharma. I went for a quick Cardio checkup few days ago and the amount of Big Pharma advertisements I saw at his clinic was mind boggling - a wall full of them. Immediately you get the doubt, whose interest does my Dr have in mind when checking me...a patient or Pharma? Patient is just one payment from the Insurance company; however, Pharma - the gift that keeps on giving.
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I have often thought Our G P's are too reluctant to write out prescriptions for Us bearing in mind that so many drugs have Side Effects. What ever became of preventative medicine ? Old cures handed down through the Generations.
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I forgot something. The original nurse who told me in November 2015 to take my mom off Namenda and that hospice wouldn't pay for it, eventually told me that she had attended a meeting and had been informed the in the end stage of hospice, Namenda not only becomes ineffective, it "hastens death due to all of the negative side effects."
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I would ask the doctor, but hospice explained to us that it was common for patients to have a burst of energy as part of the dying process. Take it a day at a time
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Normal. When someone is near death, they actually get a new sense of wanting to eat more, talk, drink etc. It may just be temporary. The body getting ready for death..a renewed sense of spirit.
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redgrandad Nov 2018
yep 23 years ago my father who was in end stage near death woke up one morning and said he was hungry and had a lot of energy so i started the grill and made his favorite a london broil, that day the whole family was together like old times wouldn't have know he was dying for cancer, the next day he went back to sleeping and within 4 days he was gone

4 weeks later mom started going downhill from COPD and the same thing happened near the end she asked for her favorite food and she had energy after that day she slept and a few days later drifted off

8 week to the day that my father died
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My mom is now in end stage Alzheimer's. She's 89 years old. My mom used to take Namenda. She went on hospice in November 2015 because she was rapidly declining. She ate very little, her body was the size of a 12 year old. She no longer watched t.v., or listened to music, which she had loved. She barely acknowledged me or her caregiver. Her head hung down and she slept much of the time. Everyone, including the hospice team thought she would be dead in a few months, 6 months at most.

The nurse told me to stop the Namenda -- in fact, hospice would not pay for it! The nurse explained that hospice was about keeping her comfortable, not about improving her condition. After a month, I noticed that she was more responsive and eating a little bit. Six months later she was alert, eating regularly, feisty, and putting on weight. She remained on hospice for a total of 13 months. They discharged her in December 2016 because she was stable and not dying any time soon.

By the way, she was off hospice for 14 months. She then went down hill at the end of 2017 and was readmitted to hospice in January 2018. She was discharged a month or so ago because she not only improved, but was deemed stable and not dying any time soon. She cannot walk, talk, toilet herself, or feed herself. But, she has a great appetite and loves to listen to music and to all of the discussions on her local public radio station.
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Emilyc Sep 2018
Hi, I just read what you wrote. My mom is also 89 and she's also taking namenda and aricept. I'm wondering if I should stop giving it to her. She was doing fine but the past 3 days, every time we feed her, she'll chew a bit and then stop chewing and just leave her good in her mouth. We have to remind her to chew. I am so sad because because prior to this she was eating so well. You think removing her namenda will improve her eating?
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It depends on what meds were stopped. Anti-anxiety meds, antidepressants and some dementia meds can cause lethargy and “zoning out”. When they’re stopped, the person does “come to”. Unfortunately with that, the symptoms they were originally put on the meds for can return. He will need to be monitored and if you notice those symptoms returning, a smaller dosage of those meds might help.
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I feel that drugs don't heal; they just treat symptoms, and often with bad side effects. There are often natural approaches (herbs, diet, massage, exercise of some sort, prayer/meditation) that help much more. Drugs are a last resort, in my book.
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