What am I doing wrong?

LisaNormand22 you're not doing anything wrong. Take a breath and brew yourself a cup of tea. Your mom is probably sleepy. I say let her snooze. She's not connected to the same clock any longer. Just yesterday I brought my mom 86 her lunch and she glared at me asking why I was bringing lunch at dinner time. I say when picking a battle, this is not the hill you want to die on. It's just the new normal.

It’s got to be a lot easier with her in bed early. Appreciate that gift and use the time to look for a place for her to live. She needs professional care now.

You're not doing ANYTHING wrong. Dementia is its own animal. You don't know from day to day how it will rear its head.

So mom goes to bed at 6:30? I do, sometimes and read for several hours. Or I go to sleep.

If mom is actively giving you grief--sorry, it's just going to get worse. Time to start looking ahead to possibilities of where to move her.

Lisa, at age 77 it is sad that your mother seems to be so far into dementia. Perhaps the ‘I can’t do this’ depends on what you are trying to do. If it’s to live with M for company and assistance for her, what has just happened is probably fine. If you are expecting company for you and a pleasant life, it’s not OK for you, and this just rubs it in.

It’s time to think about care options, finances, facilities etc. If you do decide that this can’t go on, it can take quite a while on waiting lists for the options you would prefer. Starting now isn’t a commitment to changes, but a sensible look at the future.