What am I supposed to do with all my mom's stuff?

I have heard about what Alma said. I have heard that things need to be stored until after passing.

Me, my Mom had nothing of value. I started cleaning out when she entered the AL. I gave most of her things away and to thrift shops. Only a string of pearls was worth anything. All she had in the end was her house and that was not worth much. I was never questioned about where was her household stuff. To be honest, they had no way of knowing what she had or didn't have. The only time that was questioned was when my sister died without a Will and the state stepped in and tagged everything for sale.

1. If she is still competent, she needs to make a will even though she doesn't have a lot to be distributed.
2. I live in a large metropolitan city. There are companies that will come in, arrange all your stuff, price it, lay it out, then advertise and supervise the sale. They obviously take a percentage of the proceeds. I've been to a few and they sell EVERYTHING. I bought a nail clipper at one. You might look into it. It's a great way to get rid of as much as possible and your mother might make a little money. Then gather up what doesn't sell and donate it.

This is just my opinion but when Mom moved in with me on hospice I had to decide what to do with a houseful of her things.

Looking back only one month after her passing I wish I kept more to go through much later when my mind wasn’t distracted from her medical situation. I know you live in an apartment but I would recommend keeping anything that might be a “borderline” keep/toss. Space permitting you can always decide later but once it’s gone, it’s gone.

You’d be surprised how sentimental you become when your loved one passes away. I take comfort in the things/memories I kept but wish I had taken more time…

I've had the luxury of time, so I have handled everything myself, one hoarded-up room at a time. It would have been smarter to call a company to haul things away, but there are a lot of family heirlooms mixed in with the trash, so I wanted to personally make a decision about everything. If I'd had the time constraint that you have, I might have just called someone to haul it away (but then I wouldn't have found some really interesting things).

If you decide to do this piecemeal like I did, try not to do too much at once, because it can be very emotionally taxing. Maybe I'm just an emotional person who overthinks things, but I've found it to be really draining. You may find that you can only do 3-4 hours at a time before you're completely spent from reliving old memories and making decisions about all of this stuff from various periods of your mother's life.

If you're making decisions like keep / trash / recycle / Goodwill / sell, have bins or bags in every room where you gather those categories. If you're neck-deep in one of your mother's closets, you don't want to keep having to go to the trash bag in the living room, the Goodwill pile by the front door, the "take home with me" totebag in the bathroom, etc. Instead, have a trash bag in every room, a Goodwill box in every room, etc. It just simplifies things if you're like me and spend an hour in this room, an hour in that room. You can consolidate the piles at the end of the day.

If you're holding something in your hand and can't make a decision about whether to trash, donate, or keep it, put it aside for now and move on to the next item. You'll find that when you return to the apartment on another day, you'll know exactly what to do with it. I don't know why; it's just been the case for me. But trying to force yourself to immediately make a decision about every object you encounter will just wear you out emotionally.

Push yourself to get done what you can, but forgive yourself if you just completely run out of energy and have to resume the work on another day. It will happen. Bring a trusted person with you when you can. It's always nice to have another person to bounce ideas off of—"do you think any of my cousins would want this?" "should I just put this on the curb with a FREE sign?"—and it keeps the experience from being too depressing.

Be cordial to any of her neighbors who you come across (if they are friendly and stable). They can be a help. One neighbor of my mom's rolls back the trash cans after I've put them out on one of my visits, another one texts me if there's something amiss like a gas smell or a dog stuck in the back yard, another one has lent me yard work tools. I didn't ask for any of it, they volunteered, but it's been a help. Of course, be safe. This is also why it's good to have someone along with you, when possible.

Treat yourself. After a depressing few hours of making decisions about the future of my mother's worldly goods in a cold, dark house, I sometimes stop for a cup of coffee on the way home. (I'm not normally the kind of person who buys coffee out, so to me it feels like a splurge.) You might have a different thing that you treat yourself with after a hard day (hopefully not something too unhealthy). It just helps to reset your mood.

Again, I did it the hard way, in part because I've been able to take my time sorting through it all. If your mom's apartment doesn't have much of value or historical significance (like grandparents' marriage photos stuck here and there amongst old magazines), you might be better off getting someone to help you get rid of it all at once.

I hope this process ends up being easier for you than it has been for me. Best wishes to you.

As your mom is in subsidized housing, couple of issues: her apt is not technically her ownership so it could be an issue to do a “garage sale” in the unit AND as its subsidized she has very much has to stay within income and asset limits, so if she makes a good bit of $ from the sale, it could take her over the limit.

In my city, New Orleans, we have a lot of 202 HUD subsidized housing. & rummage / moving sales are not at all allowed and you can be evicted for doing them. It had gotten to be a real issue to the point that HUD actually evicted a few families who did. So clearly ask before you even start to think about doing this. The management of housing complex has dealt with having to do removing a residents belongings before. Try to find out a determination that she is going to go into LTC facility and so not ever returning to the unit and let the manager know. Perhaps first go to her place, take the sentimental items you want and as much of her clothing, shoes etc, that you can store at your place for her and let the rest go with whatever plan the manager suggests. Y’all walk the unit together. Take photos too so you can clearly show that it’s all basics of life contents & nothing of exceptional value. Manager will likely be beyond thrilled that you are giving them advance notice too!

Another option is to contact a church that has guild / group that does a rummage room or annual sale to have them come and take items.

On renting a UHaul & storage unit, this will have costs, maybe few hundred alone initially. If mom will be going onto LTC Medicaid to pay for her stay in a NH or MC facility, once she files for this type of Medicaid then all her monthly income will be required to become a copay to the facility. All she will have is a small personal needs allowance (PNA) that is $50 -or $ 60 a mo for most states. PNA $ kinda at best covers her beauty shoppe & some toiletries replacement as these not covered by LTC Medicaid. PNA is imo never night to pay for replacement costs so you will inevitable need buying her chores, pj, underwear, cosmetics etc. & it’s just what we do for them without being ever compensated. LSs She will not have any $ to pay for the storage unit. It will fall to you to pay & if not it will be padlocked and then sold to bidder as per public Notice. Happens all the time,

Right now she is allowed to keep most if not all her monthly income as she’s still in the “community” & renting via a subsidy. She has food & daily living costs, which she uses her mo income (like social security) to pay for. But once she becomes a LTC resident there’s no more monthly income $ just the little PNA. She is allowed only a max of 2K as exempt assets. If she does not already have a prepaid funeral and burial those costs will fall onto you to deal with later on. If your funds are themselves limited, please take a hard look at how best to use whatever $ she currently has and then will have once if on LTC Medicaid. Best of luck on the next few weeks too.

When my FIL died, we first had the kids look over his 'stuff' and tried to make it evenly distributed--not much was needed by his kids. Then the grands were able to take something that they needed. Again, just a few of them availed themselves of anything.

Everything else--well, we had a yard sale and it wasn't worth the energy it took to set it up and price everything. At the end of the day and yielding less than $100! we simply loaded up a truck and the guys hauled it to GoodWill.

I did have to go through all his paperwork--took me a couple of weeks b/c he never threw anything away---and shredded tons and tons of papers.

IF your mother has any chance of returning to independent living, that is a different matter. She may care if you toss everything--you might have to rent a storage pod and store things for a bit--but be forewarned--those are very expensive in the long run and she may not have enough stuff to mandate the use of long term storage. Up to you, really. As long as stuff is in storage, it's also taking up space in your brain.

Are you POA? Do you have a RIGHT legally to eliminate your Mom's items? If not, until death, her things may need to be stored.
My parents downsized. At 80 I have done the same. Have already given to my kids the things I want them to have, and keep them well versed on all my assets, where, and to whom.
Only you can know the value of these things. You say your Mom is on Hospice now and only you can guess whether she will survive for some time and not want to hear her things are gone.
At the least you are looking at several moves, perhaps one to storage. If there is not a lot of value, then I might consider open house after family accepts what they wish to have, and let people take things. We used to have a little country cabin. We virtually gave away the contents and people were THRILLED.
As to probate, without a will you simply go to an attorney and he will get your appointed as administrator of the estate. You can then make your choices what to do with things, and handle last bills. If Mom has no assets then bills go back "expired; no estate".
MJ has excellent ideas for you at the time your Mom has expired, and I am so sorry for your coming loss. I wish you the best.
At this time you should consider cleaners coming in at the least to eliminate refuse. A place not lived in is open to infestations and deterioration and that's one reason that insurance companies do not like empty homes.
Wishing you good luck.

Call an estate sale company and ask if they can recommend a hauler. The good ones will have a hauler who comes in and cleans out a house after the estate sale.

I just had an estate sale for my parents' things, then the hauler came in and cleared out everything else for $1800. It took them three days to empty that 2500 sq ft house, so that was a bargain. The hauler gets to dump or sell what they want, so they make more on the backside.

I had used the 800-Got-Junk folks once, and it cost me $500 to have them take away a sofa, two chairs, and a coffee table. I don't recommend that route. Just have a garage sale if you want, then call the haulers, or go straight with the haulers.

If she lives in section 8 housing, maybe have a "garage sale" for her housing unit (after you secure anything that is valuable, sensitive info, medicines from her bath/bedroom, etc). Those residents can use the furniture and/or clothing, housewares, etc. This way you'll do the minimum amount of boxing, packing and moving. Make sure people know it's their job to move the items out, and you can't "hold" things for another day... "everything must go". You can charge a nominal amount of money for the things. This is pretty much what we did for my MIL when she went into a facility and it saved us a ton of work. I wish you peace in your heart on this journey with your mom (((hugs))).

Do some searching for local agencies that will accept donations of larger items like beds/mattress furniture etc. There's a place where I live that will come and pick up items like that and then sell them for a fraction of the cost. You can donate them for free or they might give you a tax credit. There are some local places that will come in look at what you have and cut you a check and move it out. It's similar to an "estate sale" but on a smaller scale. Good will or thrift stores would be good places to take clothing, etc. Sometimes local churches run thrift stores and will come and take a lot of it, no questions asked.

Keep what you want.
Sell what you can.
Donate what does not sell.
Call a "junk remover" for the rest. Even if you call a "donation site" like Salvation Army, Purple Heart...they can take the items that can not be sold and will sell them for recycling. (I guess that might be "upcycling")

Is she not expected to return home. I apologize for not understanding the temporary care. If moms coherent maybe ask her what her wishes are (assuming that there's no will or POA/trust)After my dad died my mom had a revocable living trust set up. She has a lot of stuff so we're kinda in limbo as well(for the future) since moms 91. Not sure where you&mom live, but I believe if there's any money /assets they do go through some legal process.