My sisters don’t understand that I am limited in the amount of time and effort I must be a caregiver. I have lupus, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis. An actual request from them. My sisters expected me to drive 1.5 hours to pick up my mom to drive her to an appointment that is 40 mins from my home. I would have had to drive 1.5 to parents, then 1 hour to and 1 hour from appt, and then 1.5 hours home. There is no extra bed for me at their house anymore. I feel like staying at my parents’ house creates more work for them, they lose privacy, feel like they are entertaining. They all live within 20 minutes of each other. I don’t clean my own house, how am I supposed to clean my parents'. My family have no idea how exhausted I am because they only see me for holidays when I feel ok. Anything I can do about dealing with their resentment?
Say no when you mean no.
Say I can help with A.
But I can't help with X, Y, Z.
On repeat. Change what you can/can't do as your health dictates.
"But they are bitchy to me.."
So what? Really: SO WHAT!
You can't control them, their time, their words, attitudes, thoughts or feelings.
Don't let them control yours.
Let them bi**h and flick their passive aggressiveness. Should you wear yourself out they will step in. Therefore, they should step in now prior to wearing you down.