Husband had 2 strokes right and left in 3 months

Hemmann: Perhaps the answer that you're looking for depends on how much or how well your DH (Dear Husband) recovered from the two strokes. You do mention both Medicare and Medicaid in your profile; you could pose your concerns/queries to an attorney. Are you a retired geriatric nurse practitioner?
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Reply to Llamalover47

The biggest fear I had was my husband leaving our apartment and taking a walk, We were in a senior living complex, not with memory care, but near the entrance/exit to a major highway. I was terrified he would leave the apartment and take a walk, onto the highway, and get lost or take a walker's right to cross the street and get killed. . If he wanted to go for a walk, I stopped what i was doing and went with him. He did go out of the apartment when I was showering or in the laundry room. That kind of stuff can't be stopped unless he sits in the bathroom like a good little boy while you shower. Not going to happen, most likely. I learned to shower when he was sleeping, which he did 85% of the day. I also arranged to have a caregiver come in if I needed to go to the store. I took him to the beauty shop with me and made sure he had a magazine to look at. Then, for being a good little boy, I took him for ice cream after. Well, you might say, "oh, I can't give him such a treat, he might get fat, too much chloresterol, too much sugar. Well, my opinion on that is this: what kind of life does he have now anyway, how long will he live this way, does he really want to live that way (my husband made it clear years ago that he didn't want to live when he couldn't do daily living activities). I treated this man like the little boy he became. It was horrifying to see him decline this way, but the sickness and mental loss makes that happen. The illness won't let him live long anyway, so give him a treat of candy or ice cream once in a while. For yourself, join a support group for caregivers, esp for memory loss issues. Take him/her for ice cream unless they can't have milk products (mine couldn't really). so ice cream was seldom, but a little anyway. There are other treats, like a bar of candy. What kind of life do they have now? None, really. Let the person have that little treat like the little child he/she became. Makes their day. I made sure I set the alarm to get up before he did so I could shower before he woke up. That way I didn't have to fear he would walk out the door in the dark of morning or night for a "walk". I would have never found him. Taking care of a demented loved one is not a walk in the park. Oh, yes, you can forget about routine house cleaning, and you can learn to do laundry when s(he is napping, etc. The matter is taking care of him/her, and yourself, and learning to do household chores when the patient is sleeping, napping or in day care. After several years, I called in a caregiver for a few hours so I could go to lunch with the girls, and go shopping for groceries while I was out at the same time, as hiring a caregiver does have a minimum #hours to watch your loved one. I managed to book hours so I could fit in a lunch and grocery shopping to fill the minimum time caregiver works for you. Hope this helps.
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Reply to JosAgingCare

Group homes for the elderly.

In-home aids (either through an agency or privately hired by you directly)

Some people are opting for "nursing homes" in other countries where it is less expensive and provide "better" care.
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Reply to Geaton777

You tell us in your profile that you are a geriatric nurse and that your husband, 82, is s/p two strokes. You also tell us that you are currently in independent living.

I would say that much of your question will depend upon your husband's deficits and your ability, the two of you, to continue to manage in independent living.
These are questions you will answer by knowing:
1)Your husband's abilities and disabilities
2)Your own health and ability to help your husband with his needs (you don't mention what they are)
3)You assets moving forward
4) What plans you have for division of assets if one of you requires more care and the other does not.

You mention also that you have an attorney.
So again, you are well ahead of the game in knowledge due to your career and already being in independent living.

I encourage you to fully come up with a list of needs that each of you have, a list of assets, and discuss options for your area (a very beautiful part of Arkansas I am acquainted with) and what is available to you. Options would seem to me to be next steps to ALF or even to Board and Care if you prefer smaller more homelike facility.

I sure do wish you good luck.

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Reply to AlvaDeer

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