Is there a checklist or a list of to-do's including what to pack; decorating her room and so on? Any tips welcome. We are in the process of selecting a facility.
If you have been helping her to get dressed including putting on watch and jewelry, try to edit all items over the next few days or weeks to those that are super easy to put on; label these and these are what goes over with her to start with. Like get a elastic bracelet type of watch, switch to longer necklaces and clip ER. If she has jewelry that is valuable, do NOT let any of those pieces go over with her. If she fusses, get replica jewelry.
Find out if this place does NOT allow ladies to come to the dining room in a “house dress”. A lot of places - esp if private pay - will enforce this. They can wear pj or house dresses in their room but not to meals or activities. Try to notice how the other ladies dress so her wardrobe is in line with what others do. It may be that since you are not there to help her get fully dressed, she needs to get an “adaptive” wardrobe. Yes the facility should help them get dressed, but if she can do some of this on her own, it would be a good thing. Silverts sells adaptive clothing.
Get into her room the day before and set it up. Freqflyer advice is 100&1% spot on. My mom had a lamp that she loved, it went from home, to IL to 2 different NHs. & I bought small lightweight easy adhesive shelves, placed above door transom’s and put trio of battery operated candles on timers that were staggered, so there would always be some soft light in the room, the hallway, bathroom. It had a calming effect as it can be spooky for them in unfamiliar places.
The facility should have a beauty shoppe. They are independently run so wf needs to have an account. The facility should have an in house “trust” or petty cash accounts for residents to draw from. You just set it up to pay beauty shoppe & add $ as needed. Personally I’d go and make it a point to meet the beautiful shoppe staff and set up a schedule. Try to have her see her old beautician day before she moves in so that when she goes they can see how it’s usually set.
There will be an activities director. If it were me & I was looking at various facilities, I would want to see what the activities calendar looks like AND IF what this place does are things your wife would have some degree of interest in AND does activities that allow for spouses & family to be a part of. My moms first NH was lousy on activities, like it was a movie or sitting / listening to live music; Moms 2nd NH was active as they did holiday events, arts & crafts, outdoor gardening and field trips (these required each resident to have a family member meet the Nh group - they came in NH van-at the restaurant or location, it was awesome). If your wf is still pretty ambulatory & still social, a good activities Dept and staff will make a huge difference.
If she likes mail, get her large print magazine subscriptions.
And you will likely be suggested to NOT come to visit every day. Try to limit visits at the beginning so that she can start to flow with the schedule the place has set up for their residents. Good luck!
gabucks, if possible, try to arrange your wife's room the same as her bedroom at home. I know it might not be easy, but I found that helped for my Dad when he moved to senior living. Had the night stand in the same location, the dresser, the night lights. That way when he awoke in the middle of the night, the room wouldn't feel strange.
Also, if Memory Care allows this, use the same bedspread from home. Seeing that bedspread your wife hopefully will know that is it her's.
My Dad loved sunlight, so I was lucky to find a south facing room for him. Dad loved his books, so he brought all of them with him along with the bookcases. Thankfully all the bookcases fit. His books were like a peaceful cocoon for him.
Try not to bring any expensive jewelry as it can become misplaced. If your wife insists, I would buy her new inexpensive jewelry to replace the expensive ones.
In the confusion of packing, it’s sometimes hard to get things labeled.
Many posters here have expressed that their loved ones ended up missing clothing, as well.
As you label an item, enter it onto an inventory. You can have the facility sign off on this inventory after admission.
You could also add pictures of each item, if you have extra time to be thorough.
Find out if this place does NOT allow ladies to come to the dining room in a “house dress”. A lot of places - esp if private pay - will enforce this. They can wear pj or house dresses in their room but not to meals or activities. Try to notice how the other ladies dress so her wardrobe is in line with what others do. It may be that since you are not there to help her get fully dressed, she needs to get an “adaptive” wardrobe. Yes the facility should help them get dressed, but if she can do some of this on her own, it would be a good thing. Silverts sells adaptive clothing.
Get into her room the day before and set it up. Freqflyer advice is 100&1% spot on. My mom had a lamp that she loved, it went from home, to IL to 2 different NHs. & I bought small lightweight easy adhesive shelves, placed above door transom’s and put trio of battery operated candles on timers that were staggered, so there would always be some soft light in the room, the hallway, bathroom. It had a calming effect as it can be spooky for them in unfamiliar places.
The facility should have a beauty shoppe. They are independently run so wf needs to have an account. The facility should have an in house “trust” or petty cash accounts for residents to draw from. You just set it up to pay beauty shoppe & add $ as needed. Personally I’d go and make it a point to meet the beautiful shoppe staff and set up a schedule. Try to have her see her old beautician day before she moves in so that when she goes they can see how it’s usually set.
There will be an activities director. If it were me & I was looking at various facilities, I would want to see what the activities calendar looks like AND IF what this place does are things your wife would have some degree of interest in AND does activities that allow for spouses & family to be a part of. My moms first NH was lousy on activities, like it was a movie or sitting / listening to live music; Moms 2nd NH was active as they did holiday events, arts & crafts, outdoor gardening and field trips (these required each resident to have a family member meet the Nh group - they came in NH van-at the restaurant or location, it was awesome). If your wf is still pretty ambulatory & still social, a good activities Dept and staff will make a huge difference.
If she likes mail, get her large print magazine subscriptions.
And you will likely be suggested to NOT come to visit every day. Try to limit visits at the beginning so that she can start to flow with the schedule the place has set up for their residents. Good luck!
Also, if Memory Care allows this, use the same bedspread from home. Seeing that bedspread your wife hopefully will know that is it her's.
My Dad loved sunlight, so I was lucky to find a south facing room for him. Dad loved his books, so he brought all of them with him along with the bookcases. Thankfully all the bookcases fit. His books were like a peaceful cocoon for him.
Try not to bring any expensive jewelry as it can become misplaced. If your wife insists, I would buy her new inexpensive jewelry to replace the expensive ones.