My mom has been increasing in her agitation of living with me. She is back to protesting taking her meds. Complaining about the caregiver (and the caregiver is doing a great job keeping mom's room clean, laundry done, meals prepared, etc). I also have a camera and can see what happens in my home when I'm not there.
I'm concerned that because my mother is not listening to me, she will get worse if she stays "protesting " everything I say. She will refuse to eat what I fix (even though it is the things she likes). She swears I'm trying to harm her and she is the one lately hitting me when she gets mad. I walk away and tell her that it's not nice to hit people and if she keeps it up, then she can't be my roommate anymore. She doesn't care what I say to her. She is always threatening to beat me. I believe she sees me as a child and so she can't take me "suggesting " things to her. There are days she doesn't wash, but she thinks she does or I'm "disrespectful" for even suggesting that she washes. If I can't get her to take her meds then what do I do? She is diabetic (managing through food and exercise which she has not been exercising in months and I cook because she can't). She also has high blood pressure.
I got a list from her case manager to look up memory care facilities and started calling last week. Do I need to be ready to move her in 3-6 months or is this another phase? FYI, my mother has always been a selfish, stubborn, controlling and mean person. Now, this seems to the 3rd degree!
Memory care facilities are not a magic cure all - they just tolerate the behaviors more than regular assisted living facilities
If however you are at the end of your rope then start looking now and get a plan in place
Mom's needs both mentally and physically will increase and it's so much more difficult to make a decision when in a crisis mode with the clock ticking
Dad will probably be moved to the memory care area pretty soon. He’s calm most of the time but “Sundowns” hard each night.
I had a week from hell moving these guys into care. Mom hates me, says I dumped her in a prison, but this is a pretty high end place. Every need dealt with.
Your mom, nor mine, is never going to be happy. It’s just the way it goes at this age. Big changes, difficult adjustments.
Pretty soon your gonna just have to plow ahead in spite of the anger and tears. It sucks. But my folks are now safe and cared for. I’m sleeping at night now.