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Is there help for and individual that refuses to wear a pamper at night? But will do a BM in his briefs and remove it and create a mess especially at night his whole bedding has to be washed every day! Is there medicine that can make it better?

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You need to dress your brother in a one piece anti strip suit available on Amazon. Underneath the suit, you put a disposable adult brief on him like a Depends. Here is a link:

https://a.co/d/ilLccA7

Pampers are baby diapers. He will be unable to get to the brief and remove it. If he's being left alone at home, he needs to be placed in managed care now bc it's unsafe to leave a person with dementia of this caliber alone. You can apply for Medicaid if there are no personal funds available to pay for his care. You are only one person and not Superwoman.

Good luck to you
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You must throw away ALL of his "briefs" and replace them with his new underwear Depends.
And please don't call them Pampers as he's not a baby. Just call them his new underwear.
My late husband too didn't want to wear Depends, though he needed them terribly, so I had to throw away his old underwear and replace them with his "new" underwear Depends.
Good luck.
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Time for a facility, this is not going to get better.
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Tell him he's sleeping outside from now on so that he can sh*t on the grass.
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LoopyLoo Dec 16, 2023
I like you! 😆
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Your brother needs to go to a memory care or SNF facility . He can not be alone .
This is too much for you to handle.
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olddude Dec 16, 2023
I agree. The second a caregiver is cleaning pee and poop off of the floor of the home is the second that phone calls to AL facilities need to be made.
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Your brother can no longer live independantly.

Siblings providing care (by moving into his home or visiting) is a temporary care solution for a long term care need.
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Just read your profile. You have a lot on your plate.

Honestly, I don’t know how you can keep up this pace. Have you considered placement for your brother?

You’re expecting too much from him and too much from yourself. He has Alzheimer’s disease and many other ailments.

This isn’t manageable for you to continue doing alone at home.

I wish you and your family well.
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What you all are doing as a family is commendable but it is not sustainable.
Your brother needs 24/7/365 care.
You need to look at placing him in Memory Care.
I am one of the first to say "I want to keep my LO at home" but when I said it I added.. As long as it was safe for ME and as long as it was safe for HIM. When it becomes more of a burden physically, emotionally that is when you have to say enough.

You can TRY placing a pair of regular underwear over the disposable brief.
There are adult "onesies" that he would have more difficulty getting off.

But I think as a family you need to have a serious discussion on all the "what next" scenarios.
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AlvaDeer Dec 17, 2023
Great ideas to try, and I so agree with the final outcome being the necessity of considering long term care.
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Try ABRI forms disposable briefs. Or other ones in market. Find one that looks like a regular brief..

or try a pad in his regular brief.

i don’t like threatening, but tell him if he doesn’t wear a disposable brief at night, you have no choice but to place him in a home. Which sounds like that’s more appropriate
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In the meantime, try this trick that I told my daughters when they had babies. Make up the bed with a waterproof mattress cover and sheet. Cover it with another waterproof mattress cover and sheet. That way, at least, during the night you only have to strip off the top layer to get the bed clean.
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JoAnn29 Dec 22, 2023
Great suggestion.
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