I have been going out of my way to accommodate my 84yr old mother food requests. I am understanding about taste buds issues of the elderly. My mom will ask for food to waste it. Then turns around within 20 min asking for something else. She remembers wasting the other food. She also refuses to eat leftovers. We can't afford it and I'm over it after 2yrs of it.
Take it or Leave it!
If she says neither, then you tell her that those are her ONLY 2 choices and if she doesn't want those she'll just have to have a bowl of cereal. When she gets hungry enough she'll take one of the 2 choices given to her.
As long as you continue to give in to her whims, she'll continue to take advantage of you, so put a stop to it today, as someone has to be the adult in this situation.
As someone else suggested, get her whatever she wants but only dish out a small portion of it. If she eats it all, then give her more. If she doesn't, keep it in the fridge and give it to her the next time she asks or eat it yourself. You don't have to let her know it's leftovers. Just tell her you just got it.
Lucky is not how I would describe it. More like frustrating and annoying and irritating. I can't believe OP has been catering to her mother for 2 years. That's a long time to continue being a slave to her mother over eating 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
I've been doing this for 30 years, with children and adults. It saves a lot of food and a lot of annoyance.
Better yet, maybe give her a nightly menu with one simple option, for instance,
Tonight’s menu:
(Whatever you’ve planned for your family), or
Grilled cheese and tomato soup
Period.
You can dress it up however you want, i.e. Four cheese panini with tomato basil bisque!
My Grandparents cure-all for fussy eaters.