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Today's Menu;

Take it or Leave it!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Cally2024 Sep 18, 2024
She does threaten to tell people I'm not giving her enough food and I'm being mean to her. I'm not being mean to her. I don't want to get into trouble just because I can't be her food gopher and can't afford for her waste
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I agree that you give her a choice and after that, she can access whatever "easy" food is available, or snacks - nothing that requires even microwaving. My MIL and SFIL used to have apple slices and popcorn for dinner every Sunday night. Now you can buy popped popcorn in bags at the grocery store. Yogurt, etc. At 84 I wouldn't fret about "nutritious" meals for her too much. I used to tell my family "The kitchen is closed!", meaning I'm done helping you find, prep or cook food. Then walk out of the kitchen and get on with the rest of your day.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Sounds like you live with your mother or she does with you, but either way, since it's up to you to provide food for her, just give her 2 food choices(that you yourself would like since you'll be preparing it and hopefully eating it too)like would you rather have a hamburger and small salad or piece of baked chicken with mac n cheese for supper/lunch?
If she says neither, then you tell her that those are her ONLY 2 choices and if she doesn't want those she'll just have to have a bowl of cereal. When she gets hungry enough she'll take one of the 2 choices given to her.
As long as you continue to give in to her whims, she'll continue to take advantage of you, so put a stop to it today, as someone has to be the adult in this situation.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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MargaretMcKen Sep 14, 2024
I'd forget the 'two choices'. My kids got 'dinner', not a choice. I've never heard of a family meal where there were two options, though with serving dishes it's always possible to 'skip the rhubarb' if you don't like it.
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I think you should feel lucky that your mom still has enough of an appetite to ask for food. Since at some point she won't.

As someone else suggested, get her whatever she wants but only dish out a small portion of it. If she eats it all, then give her more. If she doesn't, keep it in the fridge and give it to her the next time she asks or eat it yourself. You don't have to let her know it's leftovers. Just tell her you just got it.
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Reply to needtowashhair
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anonymous1768885 Sep 14, 2024
"I think you should feel lucky that your mom still has enough of an appetite to ask for food. Since at some point she won't."

Lucky is not how I would describe it. More like frustrating and annoying and irritating. I can't believe OP has been catering to her mother for 2 years. That's a long time to continue being a slave to her mother over eating 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
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'Wasting food' usually means leaving dished food on the plate. If you use serving dishes, and only put a small spoonful at a time on her plate, she can't 'waste' so much. What's left in the serving dishes is clean, untouched, and can be dished up next time. It's not 'left-overs', it's what's available. You aren't running a short order cook shop. Don't produce food you know she dislikes, but forget the 'special requests'.

I've been doing this for 30 years, with children and adults. It saves a lot of food and a lot of annoyance.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Cally2024 Sep 18, 2024
I don't give her food she dislikes and I already give her appropriate portions
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Watch the Bugs Bunny cartoon, "Shiskabugs".
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Peasuep Sep 13, 2024
I know this is not a laughing matter to Cally but omg cover, you made my night!
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Cally, does your mom live with you? And how would she know if something is ‘left-over’? Can you pack her refused food up and freeze it until the next time she asks for it?

Better yet, maybe give her a nightly menu with one simple option, for instance,
Tonight’s menu:
(Whatever you’ve planned for your family), or
Grilled cheese and tomato soup
Period.
You can dress it up however you want, i.e. Four cheese panini with tomato basil bisque!
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Beatty Sep 14, 2024
Your meal or the ONE alternative: bread and water.

My Grandparents cure-all for fussy eaters.
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