What do you tell your mother when your dad has to be at a different facility than she is permanently? My mom has dementia and my dad has Parkinson’s. She is going to be in memory care while he needs skilled 24/7 nursing care. I am at a loss as to how to explain where and why he can’t be with her. This is so hard for me. I want them at home with me but doctors and nurses say they need more care than we can give them and in-home care is even more expensive than a facility.
If you look up strategies to use when a person's spouse has died, you may find ideas about how to protect your mother during this transition. I'm not suggesting you tell her that! - God forbid; but in terms of dealing with the enforced separation and your father's absence there may be some ideas for forms of words that will help to soothe and reassure your mother or distract her onto other topics. If she is still partly reliant on your father and fully aware of him it's going to be very hard at first; but a good MCU should be on the ball and able to guide you.
I still hate to think what pressure you are going to be under, though.
Also, keep in mind that eventually, she may not remember that they are living apart. I'd keep in mind that your dad may need this time to rest and recover. Managing the care of a person with dementia can be quite demanding. It may be that your dad really does need his rest. I'd try to reassure him that she's okay in MC, so he doesn't fret.
Dad was really a candidate for a SNF, but this place was so nice and new, and he was the 2nd resident to move in. I was so happy they accepted him, bc the staff-patient ratio was better than what I'd found in a SNF, and he had a private room and bath with all his own furniture and things he liked. I was there every day, so I'm sure that helped, but really the aides were so good with him, and he had a couple of buddies there, and even a couple of the female residents who liked to keep an eye on him and help him sometimes.
I am glad the 'home' in my community mostly have different levels of care, but sometimes there is no way to keep a couple together.
Can you manage a schedule to bring Mum to visit Dad regularly? That is what a friend's family did, when dad did not need care, but mum had alz. One of the daughters took him twice a week to visit Mum.