Hello, recently I find myself sleeping more while my mother sleeps due to a back injury and now a pinched nerve in my arm. I do see a pain management doctor for prescribed pain meds but they don't always help. I find they make me drowsy and limits what I am able to do to help my mother. She begs me to take her to a shopping mall in a wheel chair but I no longer can push her in the chair. I usually just take her for drives and stop for ice cream. Does anyone have suggestions? Thanks
If she's in a wheelchair at home, too, and further limited in daily activities, you need more help. If there's no other family to take her in and give her 24/7 care, then get her into AL as soon as possible.
Good luck.
I can’t take my mother anywhere outside without my paid private aide ...since she transfers her from wheelchair to acorn stair lift. Mother will beg to go outside now to sit in park...she thinks it’s still summer. It’s ok to take a nap while your mother also sleeps . ...don’t overwork yourself!
don’t do heavy lifting if possible. Hugs 🤗
We are both set up in separate bedrooms with recliner, tv, phone, desk, snack drawers, activity books, wifi and all personal items. I call them our boudoirs..... we love them. I purchased a very inexpensive battery powered door bell and she keeps the "button" to ring me by her bed, by her chair and sometimes in her housecoat pocket. The chime is in my room and I don't usually move it but, I can if outside or in the kitchen. I knock lightly several times a day to peek in on her. She has also accepted a bedside toilet (her bladder isn't very good after 6 kids and nursing 40 years) after a fall 2 yrs ago dislocating her shoulder in a very hard fall, trying to go to the bathroom in the wee hours. It sits beside the bed at night and against the wall during the day. A blanket or table cloth makes pretty covers and place a chair cushion in it during the day for an extra seat. Most people do not notice it's a potty.
We're here for each other more like roommates. Can I just say one of us is Democrat and one is Republican and leave it at that...... She fell last night when sitting down to eat dinner and broke her ring finger. Got to visit with the doctor who she worked with for years. He caught her up on his children and their lives (20 years has passed) and had a blast! If we're in trouble, we can help each other but, we both prefer our separate "lives". I usually make supper at least 5 nights a week and keep salads, fresh fruits and deli meat available. We both are taking it one day at a time. My Mom is minimal assist and takes care of herself for the most part. She won't let me strain for fear of me getting injured which is true.
I read in a mother's almanac years ago as a wife and mother of two; if you are sick and hurting, don't get dressed like your ok! Leave pajamas on, don't fuss with your appearance and stay in bed our on couch and act like you feel. Tell your Mother you are not physically able to do the activity and leave it at that. If she continues to remind you she still wants to go, ask her to repeat back to you why you can't take her until she looks you in the face and can empathize with your disabilities. She's beatin a dead horse here!
motorized wheel chair
hoyer lift to help with transfers from bed to chair
shower chair in bathroom
having family, friends or paid help take care of daily bathing and clothing changes
I suggest you see and orthopedic doctor about your pain issues. You may need surgical intervention if pain meds are impacting your life so much. Of course, you may need home health aides during your recovery period for mom - and maybe you.
If you find it is just too difficult, you may be able to have home health aides for mom's care and a little housework too. Check your mom's and your insurance to see what you qualify for. Last resort may be to move mom to assisted living facility.
I would keep him at home as long as it was safe for him and it was safe for me.
If there was a possibility that I could injure him while I was trying to help him...
If there was a possibility that I could injure myself while caring for him....
If there was a possibility that he could injure himself or injure me....
I would have no option than to place him in Memory Care.
It sounds like it is not safe for you to care for your mom, it sounds like she might not be safe.
If you really injure yourself who will care for you?
If you injure both of you what would happen?
It sounds like you need to have someone come in and help you or you need to look into placing mom where she would get care and be safe, and you would have less of a risk of getting injured.
I had a bowel blockage a few years ago and had a colostomy for about a year but I was here alone with my mom the first night after ten weeks in hospital/rehab.
She didn’t put demands on me but there’s still many things she can’t do herself. Primary amongst them is taking care of me though she desperately wants to.
I hired out housework and had help from my kids some. Besides that, there was much I told mom, the dishes (or whatever) can keep a day, let’s go to bed. She always agreed and was relieved because she was afraid I was doing too much.
Since then, I’ve had multiple minor surgeries and I’m lucky to get someone to stay the night with her.
You just have to deal sometimes while keeping in mind that you can’t do yourself any more damage or you won’t be able to do anything for them at all...
Take care of yourself in order to take the best care of him.
charlotte
If Mom constantly wants to go out, try to cut it down to once every few weeks. There are many cities and counties who have disabled citizens programs. Some will come to pick her up, take her to an activity and bring her back. Is she completely unable to assist you with her chair? Maybe a home health aide or companion who could come in and help you out once a week or so?