What do you do when your husbands breath would repel a vulture and you tell him several days about it until you yell at him, and he says ur mean?

One thing, just for your own info, bad breath often does not relate to dental hygiene, or at least only partly does so. It can also easily relate to gastrointestinal issues and diet; for example, eating onions. So if you're preparing his meals, try limiting the food that may cause bad breath. I realize you may know that he doesn't brush his teeth, so if that's true my advice here may be useless. It's at least worth looking at, I think.

You’re stressed out to the max!

As Barb suggests, calling Council on Aging is a good place to start. You can schedule an appointment with them to come to your home and assess your husband’s needs.

If you qualify for help your husband will receive a limited amount of hours of care. There is always a waiting list so call as soon as possible.

C on A will help with bathing, helping him get dressed, preparing and serving simple meals, light housekeeping and sitting with him for you to run errands. It’s usually four hour shifts.

Have you had any kind of break or help at all? Do you have any money that you could use for him to receive respite care? There are facilities where he could go for a short period of time, a week or two. Check with assisted living facilities in your area.

Your husband isn’t capable of thinking rationally about anything since he has dementia.

You said in an earlier response that you are disabled yourself. Have you looked into receiving benefits for your disability?

Have you spoken to a lawyer about possibly divorcing your husband? You sound absolutely miserable and burned out. I am sorry that you are in this situation. I hope you can find a viable solution soon.

With dementia he can not easily process the steps that it takes to brush teeth, take a shower, put on clean clothes.
What I used to do for my Husband, he would take off his clothes, fold them up and put them by his recliner for the next day and go to bed. Once he went to bed I would take the dirty clothes toss them in the hamper and fold up clean clothes and put them in the same place.
What your husband is having problems with is or are his ADL's or Activities of Daily Living. ADL's are benchmarks when evaluating declines.
You need to contact your local Senior Center or Local Area Agency on Aging to see if you/qualify for any services.
You need help. Either caregivers that come in and help you care for him and allow you to get a break.
Is there an Adult Day Program in your area? It would be a great way for you both to have a break.
AND because it's me...Is your husband a Veteran? If so the VA may be of help. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission they can help determine if he qualifies for any services. And the VA may pay you to care for him.
While wanting to keep him home may be your goal if it is not safe for you physically, mentally or emotionally to do so know placing him in Memory Care is not a failure, it is acknowledging that his care is more than 1 person can do.

Are you getting Social Security benefits? Medicare?

Are you on waiting lists for low cost housing for the elderly disabled?

Call your county Area Agency on Aging tomorrow and get yourself a social worker to help you sort out your life.

https://www.areawideaging.org/

Shirley, it sounds like you are enduring a bad marriage.
To say nothing of bad breath. (Zelmin's breath mints in his Christmas stocking?)
My guess is that the marriage may have been bad for some time?
As you indicate, an alcoholic son will be of little help.
Being totally without money would seem to be a bit of a problem as well.

Were this me I would take my 65 year old self off to Walmart or KMart and get a job, and I would go to a shelter until I could afford a room in someone's home on my SS plus income. I would move on up from there to small efficiency apartment, then to a studio apartment.

And no, son would not be moving in with me. For a second.
I wish you the best of luck.
Know that you are not alone.

We're all caregivers here Shirley, so we "get it". Your husband needs help brushing his teeth and getting his dirty clothing into the laundry so he cannot put it back on again. Elders with dementia have no empathy, they're incapable of it. My advice to you is to learn all you can about dementia so you'll realize what's going on with him. You cannot expect him to care for you.....hes all about himself now. That's what dementia looks like and it only gets worse from here, sadly.

You can divorce him, and call APS on your way out. They'll check on him and if they deem he's incompetent to live alone, he'll get placed in Skilled Nursing care.

Your own health is important too, so you can't have a stroke while trying to deal with all of this on your plate. You can hire in home help to give you respite. Or you can look into placing him in Memory Care Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing care with Medicaid if qualified. See an elder care attorney to discuss your options.

I suggest you read this 33 page booklet to learn all about dementia. Lots of Do's and Don't tips for dealing with dementia sufferers are suggested in the booklet.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580

Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.

The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.

The full copy of her book is available here:

https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2

Best of luck. 

Your husband’s brain is broken from dementia. Would you treat a toddler like that? He can’t control it. It’s not his fault.

Look on YouTube videos by Teepa Snow. You need to learn how to be around someone with dementia. It’s only going to get worse.

Shirley, I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m sure it’s hard for you.