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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I would be very careful about trying to get them to live with someone. I don't know the details of what level of physically disabled and dementia your parents have but if they need a lot of help, it will likely be too much for a family member to deal with.
Are they getting any in-home services? If not, line that up right away.
Do they own a home? Can it be sold and maybe they could go live in an assisted living facility?
If you read this forum a little bit you will read a lot from people who are overwhelmed with being caregivers. It is a LOT of work. Your home is no longer your own. It puts a lot of stress on the family. It can be done, of course, but go into with eyes wide open and with help in place from the beginning. Boundaries set. So that the caregiver can maintain something that resembles a normal life and keep at least some of their sanity.
If they are incapable of living on their own, are your and/or other family providing a lot of help at home? As other poster stated, eventually, there will be an event that will lead to a hospitalization and then maybe rehab and then maybe a facility that is appropriate for the patient.
I could not agree with you more. It is a LOT of work. They have a home and refuse to sell. Yes, I am providing a LOT of assistance. I thought at the rate of decline they’re headed for being with a close family member might be doable. We are considering a living arrangement that keeps us in separate quarters on the same property. I pray they comply Thank you for the well wishes!
The one with dementia isn't really competent to make that decision. The other one (as well as the one w/ dementia) doesn't want to give up their independence or face change, and that's perfectly normal.
All you can do is keep talking to them about it or sadly, wait for the crisis and hope it isn't life-threatening.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If this person is dependant on someone with memory problems, they may be in danger of neglect or harm. Can they phone for help in an emergency?
It is common for couples to protect each other & some cope quite well as a team. But the problems get real when one gets ill.
How advanced is the dementia? Would this parent phone for help in an emergency?
I know of 2 cases of falls where (due to cog decline) the partner has not raised the alarm. Hopefully they are not at this level yet!
Are they getting any in-home services? If not, line that up right away.
Do they own a home? Can it be sold and maybe they could go live in an assisted living facility?
If you read this forum a little bit you will read a lot from people who are overwhelmed with being caregivers. It is a LOT of work. Your home is no longer your own. It puts a lot of stress on the family. It can be done, of course, but go into with eyes wide open and with help in place from the beginning. Boundaries set. So that the caregiver can maintain something that resembles a normal life and keep at least some of their sanity.
If they are incapable of living on their own, are your and/or other family providing a lot of help at home? As other poster stated, eventually, there will be an event that will lead to a hospitalization and then maybe rehab and then maybe a facility that is appropriate for the patient.
Good luck.
All you can do is keep talking to them about it or sadly, wait for the crisis and hope it isn't life-threatening.
You then work with the discharge planners at the hospital to get them into a safer place.