What do you say when you are given a gift card and that 20.00 suddenly makes you an employee in the eyes of the giver?

block the calls.
if you really have to return the $20.00 it sounds like it is not worth the aggravation.
continue to help your friend if you want but ignore the kids. Either let the calls go to voice mail (if any of them are threatening you might want to save them) or block the calls.
Also if your friend can have her pay you for the gas and wear and tear on the car currently the reimbursement (in the USA) for business is about 57.5 Cents per mile and for Medical moving it is a mere 17 Cents pre mile. Your friend can pay you and it can be deducted on her taxes as a medical expense (have her check with her tax preparer) Or if she has a car use hers to transport her. And she should be buying you meals when you are taking her.

I'd block all their phone numbers. Why do you feel the need to have them anyway? Go over when no one is there. Or...just call her and check in. If you see her being abused/ neglected then report the abuse/ neglect to the proper authorities. Perhaps use the gift card and buy your friend a gift. If children tell or ask you to do something, simply say no you can't. Do what you want and when you want.

I reread all ITRRs responses. Seems to me she has done everything suggested.

I think the whole thing here is that ITRR just wanted to see if others agreed that this situation is so "out there". Not sure why she asked the question "how do you deal" because I think she has dealt with it. Its more like "is there a different way to deal with this than I have been". She HAS set boundries. They just seem to be under the impression that the $20 GC is a payment of some sort. Or, someone is under the impression that someone is paying her as a Caregiver. Really, I can't understand someone in their right mind would think that $20 is enough money to pay someone to be at their beck and call. You pay that much to have someone babysit your kids for an evening. (I got 50 cents an hour)

With the gift card, I would think if you don't except it, it will be cancelled and the giver will be credited. So, just let it sit there. And if asked why you haven't "picked it up" just say seems to be too many strings attached. You won't be excepting it. Let them worry about how to get the $20 back.

I think you have done what you can. None of us understands why they feel $20 buys your time. Maybe the cousin can help you find out where the family is coming from. Maybe a member is telling them ur being paid and really that person is scamming Mom. Very, very weird.

Continue helping your friend. Your day a week gives her something to look forward to. A day out with a very good friend. And continue to keep her families shenanigans to yourself. It may just worry her and maybe effect your outings.

This may sound harsh, but someone is lying to you. Your dear friend may not intentionally be doing so, but she may be less-than-upfront. They feel you are being paid. No one, in their right mind, would consider $20 as payment. You can't go to lunch at McD with another person for under $20.

So, someone is saying you are being paid. Your friend may be saying that to them to keep them from wondering why you are so helpful. After all, it's a selfish world and they genuinely may wonder why you are being this way. It's wonderful you are, but I too would have some concern over someone who simply was this giving to my mom without understanding the friendship. So in order for them to back off, she may (even if you can't imagine it) be implying you are being paid.

Or, one of the siblings is saying it. I wouldn't put it past someone to say, "Yeah, she's good because I'm paying her". That one gets the credit for 'helping', and the others think it's handled. No one looks too deep because that would mean they'd have to step up and care.

Genuinely, there is something wrong here. Do they think Social Security is paying you as an aide? Have they asked you to sign anything?

I would spend the card on something for yourself or her. No lawyer would call it "payment". They'd laugh.

Maybe just visit your friend as you have, but don't do anything they ask you to do. Ask them directly why they think you are being paid. You may have to step up to the bozos and firmly ask, because someone is not telling you the whole story.

From whom did the gift card come?

There are certainly older folks about there (I'm in my late 60s, I'm talking about folks 20 to 25 years older than I am) who might think that $20 is a lot of money.

Consider that friend may be saying to family "I gave her a lot of money".

Just a thought.

I think with your response to RobertsNursery I finally get the question.
You say you want a way to let the family know you are not getting paid, without "going nuclear" on them.
I might suggest finding the single most sane member of the family. Then tell them gently the facts that you got this card which is lovely and which you appreciate, but somehow heard round the wayside that the thought is that you are getting paid to help your friend. Tell this person that you
A) are NOT getting paid to help your friend and that
B) you absolutely love her and it is a delight for you to give her this help. And C) C) tell this person you hope that they might pass this around to other family members, as somehow, somewhere along the line, someone got a mistaken idea that you are being paid.
Now, should they come to think you should do more in future, and you are not able to do more, then telling them gently that you are somewhat strapped for time, and are doing what you can should work.
It seems pretty clear you are very close to your friend but don't care for this family, so there may have been some water under the bridge? You don't say. These things become like that childhood game where someone whispers a sentence into the ear of the person next to them, and that person to the next, and by the time the sentence goes full circle it bears no resemblance to the original thing said. They are mostly misunderstanding.
It is difficult to see any real animosity here on anyone's part. Hope it gets cleared up and you and your friend continue to get to enjoy one another.

If she is whip smart and competent, then she should be told in a matter of fact way that some of her family are bat $hit crazy.

This is between her and them.

If I had a friend coming once a week to do stuff for me and one of my kids was behaving obnoxiously to them, I would want to know about it.

I am going to assume that this friend is declining in some way, which makes you feel protective of her.

Admit that to yourself and call the person who gave you the card and is now becoming demanding on the carpet. "I can't possibly do what you are demanding of me. Please hire someone to help your mom if she needs more care".

Gosh, I'm so sorry, after reading the information you have added to the discussion with your replies it seems you are in such a no-win situation.

Good for you, for setting good boundaries, and also kudos to you for realizing how this would upset your friend if she had any idea what was going on or if drama started.

I'm afraid, there isn't much of a good answer, or anything you could do differently - you have already addressed it, and they are not "getting it" . . . .or even outright gaslighting you. I'm just so sorry you find yourself stuck like this.

[[[hugs]]] this just sucks really :(

The easy (not-so-easy) answer to them is - "I am sorry - I am a friend to your mother - I AM NOT YOUR EMPLOYEE. Please find someone than can execute your commands, because you are mistaken: I AM NOT A SERVANT."

The next time the family issues orders to you about what they want or need done for her, tell them that the $20.00 gift card they gave you was just that: A gift. It is not a paycheck for services rendered. Then tell them that you helped your friend out because she's a friend and that you're not interested in going into caregiving as a line of work. If all this fails then just tell them 'no' and have a talk with your friend about how her family is taking advantage of you.

Go to Amazon and send the gift giver $20 worth of greeting cards. Specifically THANK YOU note cards.

Your gift message could be:
"There is no amount of money that compensates for the love and devotion..." you have for your friend, and the things you do for her from the kindness of your heart. But they can certainly feel free to write you a nice note every week!

I have been in this type of situation. If your friend is able to tell her family to stop ask her to. Be very frank and tell them to stop, tell them they are not allowed to text or call you. Be very firm otherwise they will and they are taking advantage of you. If you need help doing this ask a friend of yours or you significant other to type the text for you on your phone, informing them that they can not call and text you. If you don't put a stop to it, you will dread helping your friend. I had to stop helping because of this and it is very hard to do. It really kind of ended our friendship, which made me so very sad.

Simple:

NO!
Then if necessary, I have tried to help you because I saw a need. I am not nor will I be an employee of yours at your beck and call. I will continue to TRY to help you if I am available, but I will not and cannot continue at the pace you seem to THINK that I owe you.

Some people take 10 miles for every inch we give them!

I've read through a little bit of this thread, and it seems you want to stop their demands without causing drama. Great ideal, but it unfortunately may not be possible. Some people just don't care about anyone but themselves and thrive on drama. No one in their right mind would think that a $20 gift card is payment for months of help!

Please keep visiting and helping your friend - it sounds like it is good for both of you!

At the same time, please let them know that you are not a paid caregiver, do not wish to be paid, and wish to continue seeing your friend on your terms. I hate to see your friendship disrupted because someone wants to create drama where there should be none.

Next time they bring up the employee bit tell them 'i quit' and that you will go back to voluntarily taking care of your friend out of love and friendship.

I would return the gift card and tell the gifter to please use it for the needs of their relative/your friend. That you could not possibly accept a gift for helping your dear friend. Then say, “I need to take a break from (your friend) for awhile. All this has taken a big toll on me and my family and I need to pull back for my own health.” Tell them you will check in with her every now and then in a few weeks or so, but you need to focus on your own needs right now. And don’t respond to their texts or calls right away. Let them go unanswered for a few days.

Return the Gift card. Buy them a 20 dollar gift card.
Just say no to their request.
Say no to EVERY request until they stop asking.
If you say yes to any of them, they may not get the message.
When they tell you have been paid, laugh and respond, no your 20 dollars was a gift. Say plainly, "I am not your employee "

Sounds sounds more like they think you are a servant/slave than an employee.

I have read the posts and I think you know the answer. Help your friend when you can and want to. Block their text numbers and don’t respond to their requests. Ignore the gift card or go to the trouble of how to return via Amazon. Done

https://www.reddit.com/r/amazon/comments/5cgef6/is_there_any_way_to_return_a_gift_card_voucher/

ITRR, I may have missed it, but have you addressed the possibility that one "bad apple" child says he/she is paying you and actually skimming funds?

We all talk alot here about children who need to stop supporting their parents' charade of independence. Any idea if perhaps that's what is going on? The kids think that mom, although very capable for 90, needs to be in a less isolated and more supportive living environment, like Independent Living?

Is your friend still capable of cooking? Does she get groceries delivered? Can she order a cab for doctor's appointments? If she can't do these things, then possibly she needs more support than her kids or friends can give.

Something isn't adding up here. I'm trying to disconnect the gift card from the "you are being paid" comment because I doubt they are connected.

I’m sorry for your situation and that your friend’s family members have taken advantage of your kindness, generosity, and energy. However, you seem to have a chip on your shoulder and have posted several defensive and rather snarky retorts to the kind folks on this forum who are just trying to be helpful. You asked for assistance and received consistent answers;
• return the $20 gift card
• set boundaries (block the texts, calls, emails)
• talk openly/honestly with your friend about her children’s behavior
• walk away from the situation.

It seems that you are searching for a magic answer and resolution. People here are very supportive and willing to offer their wisdom, but no one can do this for you. If you really want out it’s up to you to handle it. As Oprah says: “ You teach people how to treat you.”

Best of luck.

There seems to be a miscommunication here. No one in their right mind would ever think that a $20.00 gift card would be payment for months of work. Time to have a real conversation with your friend’s family. Ask them what makes them think that you are being paid? Perhaps your friend has told this fib to her family for personal reasons. Maybe they were trying to get money from her and she may have told them that she was paying for help and could not give them any money. 
Tell her family to prove that you are being paid. W-2 or copies of checks. If they really think that the gift card is full payment, then they are loony, and you need to walk away or see your friend on your terms.
This whole scenario sounds like no one has a clue as to what is really going on. Start asking questions.

Hi,
Friends do not treat friends like that.

I would tell them that and block their phone number and make new friends.

What a horrible situation. These people are either totally stupid and dumb and insane or they are manipulating you to take advantage of you. First of all, IMMEDIATELY stop doing whatever you are doing for them. If you don't want to explain or tell them off, just come up with excuses - you are ill, have an appointment, having company, etc. BUT STOP BEING THEIR DOORMAT AT ONCE. There are some situations in life where you would like to help and keep a friend but life does not always give us that choice. If this is harming you, you must get strong and walk away. Please don't wait.

Just say “ It was a blessing being able to help you when I did. You need to find someone else now.” You don’t owe them any explanations.

My guess is that the family thinks that your friend is paying you. I would clarify this for them. I think the gift card was a "thank you".
I am sure that your friend appreciates you and all that you're doing for her.

Best wishes!

You have allowed your kind act to become an unsatisfying job because you haven't figured out how to set limits. Generally, people will treat you exactly how you let them treat you. Your friend has 5 kids who do not participate in her care. It's not 1 or 2 of her children that don't participate, it's all 5! Those 5 adult children are your friend's work product. It also appears that your friend did little tending in her own care, yet sounding able to. And less now that you've decided to take on more of her responsibilities.
You are viewed as the caretaker to all because you put yourself in the position of the caretaker with each choice you've made from moment one. Start another moment one. Start right this minute! Write down the things you're willing to do. Then whittle it down to the things you're really willing to do. Then whittle that down to the things you're really, really willing to do. When you have you're finished list, write down 3 or 4 sentences that you are comfortable with to express your limits. Use your words, your comfort. Say these written things to your friend and family. Hold onto that piece of paper to use whenever you need to reset your limits. Use the same words as a script so your words don't change and your message doesn't get lost in the heightened emotion of the act. Remember, you are the one who's changing the gig. You didn't say no, then followed their instruction and that meant yes. Do it. Take the steps laid out for you here. Modify my method to work yours effectively. The hardest part gets easier every time you pull out that script.
Setting limits is crucial for healthy relationships of every kind.

Use the gift to get something your friend needs, tell her it is a gift from her family. The next time you hear from her family tell them, firmly, that you purchased x for their family member, but want no further money from them, and no more communication. You are acting as a friend with no need or desire for either compensation or direction. Let them know that if they harass you further that you may be forced to abandon your friend, which you do not want to do. Then block their numbers. If you have a landline, use caller id to note and ignore their calls. As a last resort, get a new phone number and be very careful about who gets it.