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the best thing i guess you can give a friend is listening to her just the fact that you've posted here shows how much you care and i bet she knows too
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As a friend, I would let her know anytime she needs to vent you are there for her. Most of the time we just want others to listen to what's going on in our lives and what stresses us. She probably needs you especially if she is new to caregiving.
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Would you like me to watch gram for the day so you can go out with your son for the day? It was very hard raising a boy and taking care of my gram at the same time. Many times I missed out on his sporting events, school events, and time together. Before taking care of gram I always had an active relationship with my son.
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Is there anything I can do for you?
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I wish someone would offer to help me.  I have no one, or no one who cares enough to do this.  Of course, I am the only one who can sign paperwork because I am the POA and Guardian, and I am on 24/7 call, so it is really a pipe dream.
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What a wonderful friend you are!
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Oh! - and be a her friend to her mother, too. Treat her like an ordinary grown up and not like a little old lady. I was just mulling over which of my circle were the people I was most pleased to see, and that's what stood out about them.
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Call her. Mainly so that she can talk to you.

Visit. Take cake, or nice cheese, or anyway special real food rather than booze or chocolates.

If circumstances allow - her father's not too ill, her mother's not too overwhelmed, you're able to do it without never, ever wanting to go near them again - offer to hold the fort if she needs to go out.

Avoid making too many "helpful suggestions"! Ask "would you like me to find out about x y z?" rather than leaping in with "there's this wonderful new gizmo/medication/facility I've heard all about - "

Just be there.

That you've already thought to ask about this incredibly important point makes me sure you are going to be a Grade A friend to your friend. Bless you and your kind.
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wow dadscare i here u poor soul
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sorry this isnt answer im new at this trying 2 reach panda
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Hey. I’ll come over, do the washing, hang it out, get some ironing done and we all can have a chat
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crazykimbo Jun 2019
hi panda ...fellow aussie
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Give hugs, often and sincerely.

Prepare casserole type food that can be used for multiple meals. Do nice fresh fruit salads.

Give your time on a consistent basis so she can go do something frivolous for herself.

Help her with her housework, get a group of ladies together, do a potluck lunch and deep clean her house for her a couple times a year.

Listen without judgment to her vent.

You are awesome for wanting to be a friend for someone facing a challenging time that usually leaves people standing alone. Hugs to you.
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smeshque Jun 2019
Great answer
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Can I spend time with your Mom, so you can have a little time to refresh?
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I would love for someone to spend a couple of hours with dad just to give me a break.
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