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What if Alzheimer's disease senior has agreed to move to ALF from hospital, but doesn't want to sign a friend or family member as POA? Can she still move in?


She has enough cash to pay for 2 years in memory care unit. Then her house and property would need to be sold to pay for an additional 4 years. So money isn't a problem, it's her stubbornness over letting anybody have power of attorney.


She has capacity on good days, (when she takes her meds) but she has Alzheimer’s, so she says "no" to whatever she feels like saying no to.


Since we have suddenly gotten so close to walking her through the ALF-MC doors, I just want to make sure they will take her and get their money FROM HER.


We are going to have the attorney visit her in the hospital on Monday to very nicely explain the POA papers (with me, her daughter, as poa) and pray she doesn't turn her nose up and say "no, I'm in charge of my money."

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Otherwise, mom should be signing the paperwork. I would not sign anything that she is able to do herself.

Facilities are notorious for trying to make family financially responsible, be very aware of this fact while being educated on what they are trying to teach you from them.

By law her children are her next of kin and have rights without responsibility.

Have her sign to avoid any problems.
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Otherwise, set up online banking and send the bank checks that do not require the account holder signature.

I did this to pay all my dads bills and it worked great.

I gained permission by asking him if he would like to have the bank send the monthly checks and he said yes. That gave me the permission to set it all up.

It was really nice doing it that way as I had the monthly statement as proof of how his money was being spent.

I would not do auto pay, I would never give the facility the right to just withdraw money and I would not allow them to become representative payee for her social security. You do that if it is needed but, you retain the power over her money to pay the facility. It is so simple to schedule a payment and it allows you to use her personal needs allowance, if Medicaid becomes involved, to actually buy her the items that she needs and wants.

You got this lady, keep up the good work.
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Riverdale Mar 2021
Great idea. What should be done about paying for her medications? We have dealt with 3 different companies handling that for the facility my mother is in. We review the bill and then send them a check. The latest one sent the bill to my mother but it was forwarded to us.
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The intelligent fiesty delerious retired lawyer I met last year was threatening to revoke his POA, assign a new POA or do it all himself (depending on the hour & day..) 😖. A nightmare for his son (current POA) who was trying to get him safely into care.

Full neuro exam was required to assess his competency across various areas as dx dementia not yet formal.

If already dx that can really impact ability to sign POA - but legal professionals specialising in elder care would know what & how to deal with this.

I saw that it was down to the language used with my 'mate' (above). He point blank refused when asked if he wanted to keep his POA. But when asked *who would you like to help you financially if you couldn't do it yourself?* He answered straight off: his son.
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Otherwise, if she has no POA and she can't sign checks anymore the NH will seek guardianship.

I don't know if your mom can understand that by not appointing someone she knows as POA, she may well end up with strangers controlling her money, where she lives and the like.

I am not exagerating.
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Isthisrealyreal Mar 2021
Barb, would a facility seek guardianship if they were being paid?

I can see them doing it if there was no contact with family and they were not being paid but, doing it while they are being paid and have a contract person seems questionable. Do you know?

Thank you
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Just got a partial answer...
The ALF tells me there are two boxes on the paperwork, one is for "responsible party" and one is for "designated party".
The lady I spoke to said I can be the person who makes sure checks are signed without being personally liable for mother's debt. She said someone with more knowledge will explain the difference between the two "parties" to me on Monday.
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Sorry if I was unclear.
The assisted living facility is not asking for power of attorney.
I am trying to figure out if the assisted living/memory care facility will accept an elderly alzheimers patient who does not have anyone on earth assigned as her POA.
I know it should have been done sooner. I tried.
I honestly don't give a hoot about inheriting any of her money or her property. I want every cent to go to this ALF as long as they keep her.
But will they turn her away because she can't sign checks at some point? I don't know how they get their money.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
Thanks for clarifying.
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What POA? I hope you aren't making the ALF a POA? Do they simply want her to have a POA for herself? If she is of good mental competency she need not do this. She of course CAN do it and likely SHOULD do it at a certain age in case someone needs to act for her in the future, but I don't understand what you mean at all by an ALF asking for a POA unless she is not competent. And if she is not competent she CANNOT make out a POA. Could you give us more details of what youmean here? Good capacity on good days is not sufficient. You must be competent. As I said, either you are competent to assign a POA or not. It may be too late. Her attorney will assess this. It's too bad it's been left for this long. Just be certain the POA is being assigned to a family member who UNDERSTANDS the duties and record keeping required of a POA
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Care manager and lawyer are gone for weekend. Everything in "Elderworld" happens on Fridays.
Care manager said ALF had not called her back yet, so I guess I'll call them now.
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Your mother needs to talk to her lawyer so that she understands that what she is signing DOESN'T take away her right to do as she pleases with her money until she is non compis mentis.

She CAN'T for someone to be POA if she is non compis mentis now.
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Get the ball rolling on this. Sign her up. Deal with the paperwork as soon as possible and hopefully it will all work out.
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