My mom is a serious alcoholic. 76 years old but more like 90. She lives in my neighborhood, not my home. I am an only child and there is NO other family around, period. I was out of town for 2 days in March and she had a panic attack and called 911, admitted to the hospital for a couple of days. In April she spent 10 days in a senior mental health/detox facility. Took a bad fall in May, hit her head, I called 911. She was admitted to the hospital for a couple of days. I begged for the hospital not to release her but they did. She took another fall last week and twisted up her foot. She refuses to discuss any other living arrangement (I will not have her live with me - she is verbally abusive and nasty) and mentions suicide on a regular basis (this has been going on for years and yes I've informed ALL of the doctors). If she is hospitalized again, can I refuse to pick her up?
Wishing you the best, Upstream!
Cristycat posted hostile remarks about many of the comments on this thread, complete with angry cussing. I reported her post, and probably others did too, and it was removed.
I am sorry your mother has abused you all your life.
I do not feel that morally an adult child should be required to care for their lifelong abuser simply because they share genes.
Still, it is wise to talk to an elder care attorney in your state to ensure that you do not live in a state with filial responsibility laws. This is for your protection. You can move to another state to avoid the law.
In those types of states, unless you can prove the parent has been estranged from you for ten years or more or has physically abused you, with reports filed, then you may be on the hook financially for her care.
Here are the states that still harbor these antiquated filial responsibility laws.
Currently, thirty states (Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, ...
Does State Law Require You to Support You Aging Parent?
www.medicalalertadvice.com/articles/does-state-law-require-you-to-support-your-aging-parent/
She can hire help, she can get on the dole, but nothing is worth your marriage or your sanity. I walked when I was made to feel like dirt and that nothing was good enough. I had to learn to set boundaries.