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I am now the trustee of my dad’s estate and have been managing all of my dad’s life: home, caregiving, taxes, bills etc. for 3 years now and have not paid myself from the trust. Wondering what is reasonable and customary.

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Ask an elder law attorney and enlist the elder law attorney's ideas as to amount; have him or her read the Trust to see what the Trust says; then draw up the contract, being certain, as you already do, to keep careful and meticulous records of EVERYTHING in your files for this. It's a big job. It was for me even with the simple Trust and POA for my bro. You are often on phone waiting just to negotiate a home in the ALF for hours! A Fiduciary, 3 years ago, got paid about 90.00 (I think that would be a lot for someone who agreed to be Trustee for a relative) an hour; gives you a ballpark figure. As Trustee you cannot enrich yourself off the trust but you can be paid to do the duties of the trust. Consult an attorney and know that the trust pays for THAT as well. I didn't charge for doing the work; but it was tough work especially at first in establishing everything.
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Ask a lawyer. You don't need to make anything other than a call about this.

When my DH and I executed his father's will, the going rate was $20 an hour for any work done for and in behalf of the estate. BIL threw a fit and demanded that we do it for free. So we did. Just to keep peace. He sold 2 of dad's properties and took the commissions. It was VERY hard to work as hard as we did and not see anything to show for it. BIL, on the other hand, made over $10K. It's been 18 years, I'm still a little peeved.

DH and I have put this down in our will and we will be re-modeling the will this year. I think $30 an hour is now closer to the rate. Differs from state to state.
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The OP hasn't responded to any of the posts back around Sept. when this thread has created.
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I asked our lawyer about this and I did not get an answer. Momma does not know. I just guessed.
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Wouldn't it depend on how much your father has and how much his trust is worth?
I paid myself $20 an hour for all the work and managing I had to do for my father. He wasn't a wealthy man.
The probate court in the town or city your father lives in will give you answers to how much you can bill his estate for your services.
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I spoke to my father's attorney about this. Read through the trust. Does he give you authority to pay yourself? Most trusts say you can pay yourself a "reasonable and customary" amount, but gives little help other than that. In that case you would decide what is reasonable for the work you are doing. I see a lot of $30 a hour responses on line. I would probably also have a conversation with any beneficiaries of the trust to make sure they understand what your job as trustee is and that you are allowed to take a salary as trustee so there are no surprises down the road. I would keep detailed records of how many hours a week you work as trustee and what those hours are devoted to. If any of your siblings stand to benefit from his estate after he passes you will want to have documentation of what you paid yourself and for what to avoid being accused of self-dealing.
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I'm assuming from your post that your father is still alive.  Have you discussed with him?
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You’ll need a lawyer to answer this
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mb0704, I believe payment would have had to had been agreed to by your Dad. I don't know think you can do this after the fact.

Check with an Elder Law Attorney.
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