I have taken care of my mother and brother for over 20 years. My brother has COPD and is a narcissist alcoholic and my mother is 100 and unable to do anything for herself. My brother lives with my mother and they both expect me to do everything for them and accept their abuse. I do not have POA because both are mentally competent. I was physically hit by my brother this week and he was verbally screaming at me because I was trying to get my mom to take her pain meds so she could get a shower. My mother takes his side and I am the bad guy. It is a codependency situation and has been all my adult life. He gets into trouble and I am expected to clean it up. I am at my wits end and want to walk away from all of this. I am 62 and my husband is 67 and neither of us are in good health. Can I turn them both over to the state to care for them? I have 2 sisters who have walked away years ago.
Don't be surprised if they do nothing because mom and bro are competent. Do not call APS to ask result of the visit. Detach! Find a therapist that specializes in codependency.
There are several books on Amazon that you can read about Codependency, get yourself a couple and it might not hurt to get one on boundaries too.
Stand up and take your life back, no one has the right to abuse you, this has gone far enough. No is a complete sentence, use it, a small two letter word that can change your life...for the better.
Before u leave, make sure there is food available. Moms meds in a pill planner for the week. The place tidied up. That way you can't be accused of neglect. If ur brother hits u again, call the police.
File a situation report with APS and walk away.
Do you think you will actually be able to do that, though? Twenty years is a long time to persist with such a situation, there must have been something that compelled you, no?
Wishing you the best of luck moving on with your OWN life now!
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