I have been following this forum for about 18 months. Some sad stories but most answers seem to be heartfelt. I am trying to differentiate between what is truly important and what is less so. Mom is in AL. Later stage dementia. Incontinent. My concentration is her safety, dignified treatment, decent food, and pain minimization. I have found that medical/health communication from the AL is lacking unless I press for it. Briefly, what should be the top items on my advocate list?
Good luck and big hugs to you!
You have the priorities correct, I think.
It is also wonderful when there is some Social Worker advocating going on, though again that is not necessarily their priority. It helps with acceptance of the aging process, deciding when palliative care is appropriate, helping family in decisions involving hospice, and etc.
I agree safety is a priority as is keeping her comfortable.
Ive been doing this for awhile from far away. I try to stay in touch with the folks at the assisted living place where my dad lives. I’m on my way to see him now. Mom dies over a year ago and dad is in memory care at the same facility.
These places are are not perfect, have high turnover, understaffed and so on. But I have found a few nurses and aides that have hung around. They are my lifeline for dad. It doesn’t hurt to send in pizzas and donuts occasionally with my name on them.
As for priorities it’s just common sense. Is the elder dressed? Clean? Smelly? Haircut, toenails cut? Shaved? With my dad we’re good on this stuff. But he loses clothes, pictures I bring him, people leave clothes in his room....But I don’t give a #&$@. I’m glad they keep him dressed in clean clothes even though they may not belong to him. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
It really helps to know how things work. You are now on the facilities schedule. You have to adjust to that not them to you. Be nice to the staff, they are more willing to go out of their way for u. Never demand. Always approach with a question? I notice Mom has a big bruise on her arm. You may get, sorry we didn't have a chance to call you. She hit it on the table. Remember, ur Mom is one of many residents. Some needing more care. You can always look at records. Last med pass, last time she bathed, weight taken.
Unfortunately, those who cannot communicate their needs (when an advocate is not around) get put on the back burner and this is totally unacceptable. Due to dementia issues, there can be an underlying UTI that facilities fail to pay attention to because they see her as 'not normal' already. For non-dementia patients it is a little faster to identify this problem when they begin saying or doing things that are not the norm for them. So I would add some urine tests to the list of things to ask for if she seems a little worse off than she had been...or just to check. Bladder infections are no fun and she may not be able to express a problem exists.
An AL evaluates to determine what level of care a resident will need. My Moms had no doctor associated with it. The RN was given a prescription from Moms Dr. for her meds. Moms care was in her PCP hands. All the RN did was carry out his orders and changes of meds he made. We had to use their pharmacy. Every 3 months there was a "care meeting" where Mom things were discussed about her level of care and if she needed more. Diagnosis or prognosis are not done on the AL level. Residents should be aware of these things before coming in. The only thing I received a call about would be if Mom fell. By law family members have to be called when there is a fall, a bruise is found, a skin tear. I was there regularly and would ask questions.
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