I'm 50 been taking care of my mom all my life no one else helps me not even my daughter she just steals her money and pills not anymore called her sister and had her excommunicated from the house she has been very I'll she's had two heart attacks multiple stents throuought her body blood clots ect major weight loss I feed her but where we live I can't seem to find a Dr that will be thorough most of this has happened since Oct and to top it all off I had total knee replacement having complications some days can't hardly walk may never walk right what's killing me are the e r visits I am a certified pharmacy tech and worked with hospice as a caregiver for my GMA till she passed so I'm not medically stupid but getting very angry think there's some Alzheimer's dementia going on but she HUGELY SEEKING ATTENTION most of the time its nothing not taking her meds when I put them out she takes them selectively and trys to hide them these are her heart pills I've been getting very angry just want to yell sometimes GET UP I actually asked her if she was just laying there waiting to die I know she's putting me on a lot I have a hard enough time walking myself I love her more than life itself I can actually predict when she's all of a sudden after being fine all day telling me first its gas's then no its heartburn when I give her a solution the symptoms change when something's really wrong I know it have no problem calling e my or taking her to e r just took her to another city late the other night 200 miles because she was dying guess what no we just got home today told my ex watch its gunna be fun today she's gunna all of a sudden be really I'll I straight up told her was not taking her to e r not warranted like I said she kept switching symptoms I'm sorry to vent like this never done forums before but sometimes I wonder if she's not trying to kill me first thank u for listening like I said doing this by my lone yes I do counseling but maybe its better to talk to people who are there also
A friend of mine is a professional caregiver and she said I HAD to get away and do things for myself find things to enjoy. She said "If you do not you WILL BURN OUT and it WILL lead to Elder Abuse.". HARD to turn your life change BUT with the help of this community of caregivers, YOU CAN DO IT!
Where do you live? Is there a teaching hospital close? You can go to www.ama-assn.org/doctorfinder Scroll down until you see the specialty, state, city, zip They have a doctor finder section where you can put in where you live.
You may be able to locate a better doctor.
contact your local area agency on aging, they have caregiver programs that include caregiver support and respite. They should also have a senior care program where someone would come into the home and provide care to your mom. this gives you a break. She may be more likely to take her morning meds if someone else is in the house. It's a shame family doesn't help, that's why its so important to utilize any services that are available. As a caregiver you need to care for yourself first, get your knee back to being better. You can't provide care to someone if you don't care for yourself. I was caregiver for my grandma, and not for my dad, so I understand the frustration. You are not alone, there are many caregivers who are overwhelmed. Look for a doc that will listen to you and seek services from outside agencies. This will help to ease that caregiver burden. Good Luck.
Sometimes I notice this type of writing issue whenever someone is using a Smartphone or other handheld device. My boss does that with his phone.
That being said, here are a few things that have helped me. I contacted the agency for aging in my area and have been taking advantage of any program my mother qualifies for. Having a provider come in a few hrs/day has been a life saver. I take that time entirely for myself, (read a book, take a bubble bath, etc...) I have also started to write as a hoppy in tbe evening for an hr or 2 after my mom is settled in bed. I have found that putting my real problems into a fantasy world has helped me to actually deal better with reality and sometimes even find a solution. Prayer also has an amazing calming effect as well as reading the bible. My favorite book is the Psalms, especially Ps.37. I know this is not the avenue that pleases everyone, but it certainly has helped me. Please know flylikethewind that you are not alone and there are others pulling for you. I will definitely have you in my prayers.
My mom has been with my husband and myself for over a year now. She also has dementia along with neuropathy in her legs and poor vision. She doesn't want to be left alone either. I feel bad for her because she does get bored. She loves to sit outside on my back porch but I live in Arizona and it will soon be too hot to do that. I dread summer. I try to read to her but her comprehension is getting worse too:( I have found a woman who will come in and sit with her so I can get out for a few hours and I do have her going to a Senior Day Care for a few hours once a week. Some days are harder than others but I have made the choice to care for her as long as I possibly can and thank goodness my husband is so good to her. I hope you can find a way to get some time for you :)
Those regular people can see problems fairly quickly when someone new joins and from experience have a ready answer.
The criticism of your post was directed not so much at your spelling and grammer but that it ran on so fast and omited lots of information that it was almost impossible to follow.
You are clearly overwhelmed and in trouble but some background helps others understand why you are in crisis and where you may need immediate help. You see we are not a suicide prevention hot line where the councilors are trained to spot certain clues and decide if half an hour on the phone is enough to calm the caller and then refer them to help in their area or immediately call 911 because they are in imminent danger. People from all over the world post on this forurum and often ask for help from distant continents where things we take for granted in the US are simply not available or for that matter not affordable.
Everyone has their weak points and on some days other posters have simply come here to vent and once they have written their thoughts they feel better,
As you know caregiving is a very lonely business and friends and family soon disapear because they are afraid of being dragged into the same deep dark hole that you find yourself in right now.
Some posts are plain frustrating, and I am not refering to you right now, and the same questions are asked over and over again when the same answer has been given several times already, and the automatic reaction is 'for goodness sake can't she read" Well she can read but she is so over loaded that there is no place left for the information to sink in and like an overloaded electric circuit they blow a fuse. if you were there in person you could give a hug, let her cry, make a cup of coffee and tell her to go and lie down for a couple of hours and you would watch Mom for her. The caregiver can't spend all day rubbing mom's back and listening to the enless stories and then being told she does everything wrong and on top of that is stealing her money. I am not trying to critisize you or anyone else on the forum just to explain how frustrating things can be at times.
I hope you will stay with and share your experiences because that is the way everyone learns. Professional training can only go so far, it is on the job experience that makes all the difference and being in the trenches presents problems never even addressed in even the best of classrooms.