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My 76 year old mother lives by herself with 4 cats. The house is infested with fleas. The minute you walk in your arms and legs are covered with fleas. My legs actually looked black. I’ve never experienced this before! My mom won’t leave, so how do we properly treat this house? My brother says he will clean the carpets and do laundry, but he’s very slow to get anything done.


Does anyone know the best way to get rid of fleas with a person in the house? My mom will not leave the house. She can’t walk and doesn’t use a wheelchair.

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Consult a local veterinarian as to what they recommend. I recently had a good experience in using the new pills (once a month) for an unexpected outbreak with my indoor cats. The medicine also worked against the tapeworms that fleas carry.

Do NOT use dog products on cats. Be very wary of grocery store flea products.

Bathing is only really effective when you are moving the cat to a new environment without fleas. Flea combing is similar.

With a bad infestation you’ll need to follow up with flea bombing the house and spraying the yard.
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Research DIY pest control in your area. They are very helpful and carry all the products professional pest companies use.

Dawn dish washing detergent can be used to wash the cats and get rid of their infestation, then put a flea collar on them.

Personally, I would make it very clear to mommy that she cooperates to deal with this or the cats get rehomed, what she is subjecting them to is cruel and beyond selfish.

You and your brother do realize that you can tell her no, right?

You guys don't have to prop this insanity up. What you have shared totally screams mental illness and no layman is equipped to deal with this. She would be better served in a long term care facility, aka a nursing home. She could live for twenty years, are you prepared to give up your life to keep caring more about her then she does?

Best of luck dealing with this crap situation.
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What pest control is "best"? They all use the same chemicals
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OP, your mothers life is compromised here due to you doing everything for her which enables her to live in squalor on a couch, using it as a toilet. Stop enabling her immediately so she has no other choice but to seek medical help which should have been sought a year ago when she fell down the stairs. Now she, her cats and her house are infested with fleas which is unthinkably horrible. Her legs will become infected with bites in short order, and they're already swollen with edema.

When my mentally ill ex husband "refused" medical treatment, my son literally picked his arse up, threw it in the back seat of his car, drove him to the GI doctors office for a colonoscopy and stood over him threateningly until he had no other choice but to get the test. He had stage 4 colon cancer, as it turned out.

Stop pandering to your mother's wishes now, recognize the dire situation at hand, and DO SOMETHING about it. Or the next time you pop in to bring her food, you may find her dead. #Truth. Wake up please.
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I recall some decades ago that my cats had fleas. I believe it was my veterinarian who suggested a sticky trap, such as those used for flies. I was perhaps 8 or 10" square and contained a sheet of very, very sticky paper. Fleas got stuck and couldn't escape.

It worked for us. If there are a lot of fleas though, you might need several traps.

You might want to read over the articles from this link and see if any might apply to your situation:

Make a Homemade Flea Trap In 60 Seconds - TheBugSquad
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I'd call the cops for a welfare check. They'd get the wheels rolling to get her out once they see the house is uninhabitable.

You should be the one to call, because you've enabled this and could be accused of neglect for letting her live that way if ehe's not in her right mind. You should tell the police you've tried everything, so they know you haven't intentionally neglected her.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2022
Did you read her profile. How can she be enabling. The woman, until found otherwise can make own decisions. They are dealing with a stubborn woman. They can't force her.
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You have to literally "bomb" the house. That means Mom has to go elsewhere. So do the cats. Probably will need to be dipped by a Vet. Then collars should be used. They are usually too long by an inch. You can out this inch in your vacuum bag. When u vacuum it will kill any fleas that get vacuumed up.

I only had a couple a cats a one time. There was a rug spray I used to use but what you are describing needs bombs. You set them off in every room in the house. Then you vacuum very very well. Throwing the bags away.

Sounds like Mom is going to need hospitalization soon. When that happens, hopefully she will go to rehab. While in Rehab have her evaluated for 24/7 care. If found she does need 24/7 care tell them it is not safe for her to go back home. This is when you place her in an AL if she can afford it or have her transferred to LTC with Medicaid helping to pay for her care. You can do this while hospitalized but better if done at Rehab.
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Human legs black with fleas? The house is a health hazard to you as well as her, and it’s no therapeutic fib that she does have to leave to a facility while the bug bombings, possible carpet pulls and whatever goes on.

There is no other option to help.
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I do not think you can safely eliminate the fleas with mom there.
I would find a way to get her out of the house for a full day and have professionals come in.
There are "safer" products that can be used but all the cracks, crevices and every nook and cranny needs to be reached with the pesticide. This may mean moving furniture.
The cats need to be taken to the vet or groomer to get rid of the fleas at the same time.
If there is a basement area and or attic those areas need to be done as well. Any mice will also be infested.
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Fleas can transmit serious and very dangerous illness. Unfortunately, whoever is identifying as “caregiver” (enabler, voluntary or not?) could be identified as “complicit”.

So someone, no matter how excruciatingly against Mom’s current wishes, will have to take a stand.

Mom’s current “acceptance” of fleas and self generated body fluids, suggests that your mother cannot fully comprehend the gravity of her own situation.

My mother was a manipulative agoraphobic, but when she had what initially appeared to be a “fatal” stroke, she allowed herself to be removed from her house to spend two nights in the hospital.

What you mother wants, or refuses, or has tantrums about or uses to manipulate you and your brother no longer rises to “her best interests”. You need someone to attest to that.

Whether because of the pandemic or otherwise, you MUST get someone in to objectively assess her current living arrangements, OR you must stop enabling the living arrangements to continue without your support.

SOMEONE will be furious, but this is what happens. Neither you nor your brother have been enlisted for anything but perpetuating this, and it MAY BE that you will learn that you cannot change anything, and that it is not really within your legal or moral rights to do so.

Geriatric care is by no means the land of happy or pleasant or comfortable endings. Do what you can without ENABLING, and if she can’t become resigned to the absence of you and your brother as enablers, back away.
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MargaretMcKen Sep 2022
I love the “self generated body fluids”. Reminds me of the poster whose mother wouldn’t go to the bathroom in her depends. At least it wasn’t the powder room. And bubonic plague, were we come!
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I take it these are indoor/outdoor cats. The cats.would need to take a monthly flea control medication plus parasite treatment since fleas are known carriers and mom and cats would probably have to leave and an exterminator called in for such a severe infestation. Poor cats are probably miserable from the flea bites I would say poor mom but she caused this and is so messed up she doesn't even care
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In addition, you say "you have to" gets her meals, do her laundry.

Consider not doing these things for her. As our fellow poster Beatty often says "there will be no plan as long as YOU are the plan".

Tell mom you won't be showing up anymore because YOU'LL get sick from flea bites. What's YOUR plan for getting food, mom?
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From your profile:

"I lived in Texas my entire adult life until this past summer. My adult children moved to Indiana after graduation and in 6 months I’ll be a first time grandma! So I moved to Indiana to be closer to my kids and family in Michigan. My moms husband had a stroke in May and since then I’ve been going back and forth from Indiana to Michigan (3 hour drive) to help them out. My mom fell down the stairs in November 2020 and has been on the couch ever since, she will not and says she cannot stand up. We have to prepare and serve her meals, do her laundry and dishes etc every day. We are taking care of her everyday house chores too- which is fine, we don’t mind. She refuses medical help any help even a mobile dr, we’ve called agencies etc and we cannot force her to get help. She goes to the bathroom on pads but of course they leak and the couch she lives on for the past year is soaking wet and smelly from urine. Now her feet and legs are severely swollen. We (my brothers and myself) are so sad and getting anxiety and depression due to this situation that we can’t do one thing about. All we can do is make sure she has food and heat and lights are on etc. she has very good insurance and plenty of money - that’s not the issue at all - she is in denial and extremely stubborn!!"

Her home is uninhabitable. I would call 911 and have her transported to the hospital and have an exterminator on call to fumigation.

Get the cats to the vet.
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con3ill Sep 2022
If she has sufficient insurance and assets, and yet her home is uninhabitable, fixing this situation should not fall to you and your brothers if you have no legal standing to step in and get her out of there. From your profile, it sounds as if she declines all outside help she would have to pay for and are putting it on all of you. Sounds as if she never granted any of you Durable Power of Attorney to take over, and now, with the swollen-legs issue it's become a health issue which she probably denies is a problem. But it is. Time to call Adult Protective Services to investigate and to let APS know that you initiated the call to APS.
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